I self harm for sexual pleasure

I'm gonna get straight to the point. I believe this fetish started when I was play fighting with my now ex boyfriend, Ed. We weren't dating at the time but there was this point where he had me pinned to the wall and he slapped me really hard. I got bricked up. I don't know why, but I blame this incident for being the start of this fetish. Whenever my parents would punish me for fucking up on something, I forced myself into believing it would make me better. So when I actually started cutting because I hated myself I treated it like an improvement hobby of sorts, I would always jerk off after. It never felt as bad as just jerking off normally so I started to do it more often. Then it turned to cutting my legs AS I jerked off. Now my thighs are riddled with scars. I went to a behavioral health center for something similar but I keep relapsing and now I feel like a whore and that I've failed myself, but it just feels so good I can't help it. I hate being a masochist it's awesome.

By Anonymous Apr 20

Fetish CONFESSION

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