Lusting over grandma

I’m a male, in my mid-late 20s, and my grandmother is in her late 60s. People in this forum often wonder how someone can even entertain the idea of sleeping with a family member. I feel like a lot of the reasons are similar in some way or another. I’ve just always been attracted to her for some god forsaken reason that is beyond me. She’s attractive for her age and has a nice body. She’s very liberal/hippie like. She’s been divorced and single/lonely for about 12 years now. The attraction to her started when I was 18 almost graduated from HS. I used to spend my weekends over at her house, and would use her laptop for reasons a kid would be on a laptop. YouTube, Facebook, twitter, etc. she never had a password on her account, so I would just browse the web on her profile, and delete the history if I ever wandered to a certain part of the internet I knew I shouldn’t be on. Well, I happened to take webcam photos of myself, and ended up stumbling on nude photos of her, and that just sent my young self over the edge knowing someone her age was still somewhat entertained by the idea of sex. From that point on, I used to steal her panties or pantyhose out of her hamper and beat off while smelling them and from there I never looked at her the same. She’s still my grandma, but I always had wondered if I could fuck her considering she’s been by herself for so many years. Fast forward to now, there’s been times I crashed over there drunk from being out with friends all night at the bar, and we’d cuddle/I’d lay my head on her lap and rub on her leg/thigh and she’d rub her hands through my hair but that’s the furthest we’ve ever got. Another time I was fucked up beyond belief and texted her a link to a literotica story about a grandmother & grandson finally taking that next step. I woke up the next day feeling silly for letting my lust takeover and doing that, and she texted me saying something that was entirely unrelated to the link. She just said “I’ll always love you.” But I felt embarrassed that I really sent her that story at 3-4 in the morning. What should I do? I’ve kinda accepted the fact nothing will ever happen, because realistically, incest is actually rare, at least to me. Then again, nobody would ever actually publically admit they’ve hooked up with a close relative. Where do I go from here? Any realistic way to actually run the idea by her? I feel like I already have, but who knows lol. We do text each other saying “I love you” a lot. But I feel like she’ll always look at me as her grandson and not a potential lover, and that’s fine if not. I just wish she helped me live out this fantasy just one time

By Anonymous Jan 17

Family CONFESSION

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