What happened during her camping trip?
My wife S and I have been together for over 20 years. We got a couple in highschool and stayed together forever. We have had our ups and downs but never had a real crisis that would threaten our relationship.
I've never cheated on her, and never had the urge to do so. She says she never has cheated on me and I believe her. Except for one event, dated more than 15 years ago, that I would like to call her camping secret.
Every year she goes on a little trip with her best friend V. They were still students both 20 years old, so they had a limited budget and decided to go for a camping trip in the Ardennes, a beautiful region in Belgium with many woods, little rivers and nice hikes. They choose a little campingplace, far from the comercial big campings with all those playgrounds. It was the time before smartphones and fast mobile internet, so the only contact we had was a text message at night, where she told what they had been doing: kayaking, mountainbiking, hiking, ... and so on. The last evening however, I got the usual message with their activities, casualy followed by the fact that they had met some guys around their age and they wanted to go for a swim at night in a nearby lake. It would be fun for their last evening.
I was quite jealous at that time, but didn't say anything about it. She often said I was to suffocating in our relationship and I didn't want to fight in textmessages. Besides, I was sure i couldn't convince her not to go, so why doing effort?
The next day they came back home and i picked her up at the trainstation. After the first warm hugs and kisses I asked her about their swimming adventure. She gets quite cranky and says 'There is nothing to say about it, we just went for a swim and had some beers and wine. That it, no reason to be jealous about it'. I startled a bit from her raw reaction and decided not to go further into it and i forget about it.
Years later, we just moved in together, we had a bbq: S, me and her best friend V. There was lots of food, lots of drinks and lots of fun, we were all having a good time. The girls started brining up memories about all the trips they had done togetjer: London, Paris, Amsterdam, Malta. And then, all of a sudden, V shouts laughing: Do you remember our camping trip? That last night when we started with skinny dipping with those guys and than ....' Than she realises it's not just her and my wife S, but that I'm there also.
I got overwhelmed by a feeling of jealousy and hornyness. I could only say 'you never told me you went skinny dipping. You said there was nothing to tell about that swimmingtrip'. S gets all red and tries to save her situation: 'No, it was only V who got naked, I kept my bikini on'. V: Not at all, S. It was your idea. You even didn't want to get your bikini on because it was still wet from kayaking and you even said that was a very good excuse to go naked. But okay, now i'll stop about it, before he knows all of it'
In meantime, I got so frustrated for the girls not wanting to tell what happened, so I ran away. When I came back, hours later, V was returned home and S was sleeping. Every time I start about this event, they both got mad and refuse to have a decent conversation about it.
I'm really dieing to know what might have happened that night. Any creative minds can give me a hint?
All four of the guys fucked both V and your wife.
Hi, I was one of those guys. Sorry to tell you, but she got banged so hard that night.
If I would tell all what happened then, you'd probably started to cry.
Didn't you notice how she got interested in anal sex after that trip? Well, I was the one that had her fat ass for the first time. And also for the second time.
Yeah, they definitely fucked those guys. They wouldn't be so defensive about it unless something happened that they knew was wrong. Your wife blushing and trying to "save" the situation when her friend accidently let slip the skinny dipping part pretty much highlights that something happened that your wife doesn't want you to know. Hell, according to you her friend even stopped before you "found out" all that happened.
You say that there has never been a crisis that threatened your relationship before but it sounds to me like you just didn't know that there was actually a crisis the entire time. She obviously lied to you and has been keeping this secret for a long time. Now that you know she lied you have to wonder what else she's been lying about all this time.
I would say, sit her down and without judgement let her know that whatever secret about that night she's been keeping, you don't care so much about what happened as you care about the fact she lied about it and has kept it from you for so long. Get her to understand that if you feel like you can't trust her at her word, that is a definite threat to the relationship and you need to resolve it together. If you just let this go then you're just going to keep wondering what else she might be lying about and over time it's going to cause you to resent her.
Now, if it turns out that she really did fuck one or more of those guys back then but she hasn't cheated on you since then and feels guilty about what she did, maybe try to forgive her and make her understand that you want an open dialogue in your relationship. Communication is essential and if you don't have that things will not work long term. It's just a simple fact.
If no actual sex happened back then, just forgive and forget and try getting her to be more open with you moving forward. That's my 2 cents.