Affair… what am I to him…

I met him online. He’s a few states away, he checked all my fantasy boxes, even some I didn’t know I had. I wanted someone to sext he wanted someone to hook up with in person but he wasn’t looking for a relationship, he felt weird talking to me. I said that’s fine I just need someone to sext and he was very good at it, I pointed out he was the one doing all the talking..

Fast forward 2 months and we text everyday, he leaves voice memos often, talk on the phone and Facetime. If I ask for more attention he gives it. He’s still consistent in checking all the boxes. The sexting and naughty talk isn’t as often, but when we do it’s hotter than ever. He keeps saying he’ll help with costs to come see him…he can only see me for a few hours for one day.. Fine. He says he’ll bring me a gift. We pick out the dates, he moves meetings around. Few more weeks go by, I leave a voice memo saying I’m done waiting, help me plan this or I’m done talking that he’s just a fuck boy. He calls immediately, within two hours he has me a hotel… he goes to work late. Three days, two nights. Now he says he will see me on day two and day three. A few days before the trip he asks what time my plane lands… he will be there a few hours after that. We count down the days, we plan what we will do. I go there, he’s better in person. We fuck, it’s amazing, afterwards he orders us food for our “date”. Before he leaves he turns to me and says with aggression in his voice “I told you I wasn’t a fuck boy”. He isnt the same nationality as me, I taught him that term. His accent makes him sound even more aggressive. The next day is for me to explore the city. I tell him to bring me a gift like he said he would. The third day he sees me first thing in the morning, brings me breakfast and coffee… even though he was sure to get a hotel that served breakfast…. And he brings my gift. He runs a business… people could no longer cover him… business started late that day..

It’s now been just over 4 months… Still checking all the boxes, we talk on the phone regularly. We share things about our lives, we are friends at this point. When I send pics or videos instead of saying the usual hot, sexy, now he says he loves them. That’s his go to word now… His language has changed… I sent a quote today that said I hope you find someone that makes your soul smile. He said I did, it’s you. He’s a big support in my life, encouraging, he always knows what to say. I almost try to sabotage it by being too needy, by showing more of myself. At first I played a role, the mistress that strokes your ego and never complains… Now I am just me. I figured out he was lying about something dumb, I texted him and said this is dumb, talking to you is optional I’m not dealing with this. He says he’ll call in one hour, he texts that he’s sorry, that he still likes my smile, my smell, my taste. He asks if I miss him. I don’t answer. He calls upset, but apologizes repeatedly , he says he should have seen me all 3 days, that all of this is bullshit. I start to cry, he tells me if I cry he can’t talk to me anymore. We get off the phone, he’s in his office, people keep coming in to talk to him. He texts me begging me to stop crying, I tell him it’s all bullshit anyways. He calls back and tells me again to stop crying, I had by that point. He is more dominant than I thought, I am putty in his hands, it’s hot af, we sext later that day. I talked to him the other day trying to figure out what I am to him, asking if he saw women close to him, which I would understand… I tell him I’m the only person he could tell… I’m trying to like him less… he said no, we had a special bond, I add color to his life, I make his life 3D. I said don’t you wonder about me seeing other people, he said no he had a hunch and he trusts me. He asks what does my hunch say? He calls me his sunshine, he sends me sweet quotes, pictures of the sky and flowers. I’m obsessed with him, it’s ruining my life… if I have a bad day I want to talk to him, if I have a good day, I want to share it with him. All I want to do is be with him. I don’t want to give him up. I don’t know what I mean to him. He says all the right things. He says his marriage is good, it’s in the bedroom that’s lacking…. But I can’t help with that…. Am I just a fun toy to him? I know he’ll never leave his family, I would never want that. It’s emotional torture not knowing his true feelings towards me. The way he makes me feel I can never give up. My hunch says he feels the same way about me.

By Anonymous Oct 14

Cheating CONFESSION

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