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The unintentional show: My teenage exploration gone wrong
When I was 16, my parents and I moved to a new city, and I started high school. I was struggling with feelings of loneliness and being out of place. I began exploring my sexuality through masturbation, unaware that it was visible to others outside. I masturbated regularly, trying different things and experimenting with my body. It wasn't until the end of the first semester, when a schoolmate hinted at seeing me masturbate through the window, that I realized I had been unknowingly exposing myself to the outside world. This realization was devastating and embarrassing for me. Gossip and rumors spread in the small city where I lived, leading to intense shame, guilt, and embarrassment that haunted me throughout high school. I was naive and innocent in my exploration of my own body, and I never intended to expose myself to others. The shame and guilt that I have carried with me for all these years have greatly impacted my self-esteem and relationships. I have struggled to have a healthy sexual life and move past the stigma that was attached to me during those years in high school. I was raised in a strict Christian household where sex or masturbation was never discussed, which added to my confusion and isolation. I want to move past this and let go of the intense shame I have been carrying for years. It's time to forgive myself and start fresh.
Man kids are cruel and rest assured they were tugging their cocks as well. I was molested up until age 14, I never said a word. Bit one day on the bus a girl, quite the bitch yelled our, he has sex with his daddy! Like I had a choice, I would wake up to it or he would not let me do anything if I didn't comply with his rules! It was horrible and now everyone knew. I contemplated killing myself to get out of all this. My mother never knew and it would have devistated her to know as well. I was tormented until I asked to change schools when I was 16. There were 2 high-school in our county. It wasn't a long distance but was far enough away for the harassment to stop. I met my wife there and things got better but I never released the guilt. My dad died and I sat beside his casket and asked why he did this to me. Obviously I'll never k ow but I was able to have some closure at his funeral. Sad part, he was the best father if not for that. I eventually broke my silence and was able to talk about it. Mastrubation isn't anything you should be ashamed of, though much like myself, kids were cruel! We all mastrubate and if anyone says something remind them they also do it. I remember the guilt I had over it, bit now I celebrate it. Damn right I mastrubate. I also broke the cycle with my children and vowed to protect them and their children as long as I live. Be proud of who you are and celebrate your sexual experiences. Bet you are a way better lover for your partner because of it! Most of those who made fun of me never made much for themselves. I did, I make over 200k a year, have a great family with grandchildren as well. My wife and I have been with each other since we were 16! So there's light, it's all in what you make of it!
That's a difficult story to hear and can only imagine your pain, strength and courage. I'm convinced you will help others by your actions. Best to you.