I am allowed to still be mad

On my 40th birthday things got way out of control, I don't remember when it happened or why but somewhere along the way I lost my sex drive but my husband did not, Which I think led to some of this, We were partying at our house, My half sister and two of my friends were still there at somewhere around 3:00 am, We were all in the hot tub with my husband and no one had a bathing suit, My friend M is a 35 y/o, 5'6" brunette with big, saggy boobs, My friend J is a 38 y/o, 5'5" blonde with big fake boobs and I am a 40 y/o, 5'3" dyed blonde with small saggy boobs and then....There's my sister, We have the same dad and different moms and we both got our bodies from our moms, She is a 25 y/o, 5'10" Brunette with DD's and a slim body and no ass.
So no one had a bathing suit so I was wearing a long yellow shirt which was see through when wet, J had on a dark brown shirt which was not see through and a black thong, M had on a green shirt and a pair of red bikini style panties and her shirt was just a little see through, My sister was wearing a blue t-shirt and red thong, her shirt was definitely see through, So we are all drinking away and somehow we got onto the conversation of my husbands dick, I will be the first to admit that his dick is huge, Not super long but thick, He claims 7.5" long but I can't wrap my hand around it and touch my fingers together which is some impressive girth.
Of course I bragged it up and...J said "show us", Pretty soon everyone is chanting "Show us, Show us" and my husband is playing shy, I was drunk enough that it seemed like a good idea so I said "Come on hun, show us", He looked at me and laughed than he slipped off his boxer briefs under the water and everyone cheered as he twirled them around, We were all laughing and joking as he stood up just enough to show the base and about an inch of the shaft, J was the one who said "Geezus it looks thick", She has made comments that her husband is not very well endowed but knows how to use it, I kept teasing him to stand up and then to my surprise he did, J and M both got wide eyed and said "Holy shit" almost in unison then laughed, I looked at my sister and she was just sitting straight face staring at it from the side, he was about half hard and it was dangling down, J said to her "***, Snap out of it", She shook her head and said 'WOW!!!".
My husband sat on the edge of the hot tub and J still had a good view because she was sitting right across from him, She kept talking about it and M was leaning over to get a look now and then, J said "It's not even hard", I said "Show him your boobs...It'll get hard", J and M both said "No, No, We are married...*** you show him, you have the best boobs anyway". I for a split second thought "Maybe my 25 year old sister shouldn't show my husband her boobs" but what came out of my mouth was "Do it".
My sister laughed and lifted her shirt and flopped her big boobs out, I have seen them lots but no one else has so everyone was staring, She has big, firm boobs with big pink areolae and pink pencil eraser nips, They really are a great set of boobs and no kids like the rest of us so they still look great, I swear I watched his dick grow another inch and he cleared his throat, J said "Oh my gawd, It's growing" She was fascinated by watching him get hard, She was cheering him on and telling my sister to jiggle her boobs, J said "M squeeze them, that'll get him hard", M said "Press yours against hers, that will be better", J must have been getting horny because all of a sudden she was down to show her boobs and lifted her shirt, She had small saggy boobs three years before and got a boob job so she has big, Round boobs with small brown nips and she sloshed across the hot tub squeezing up against my sister pressing their boobs together.
I don't remember the last time I seen my husband get fully erect that fast but he was standing at full attention in seconds as J and my sister laughed and rubbed their boobs together.
J was having a blast and M was staring wide eyed, J took my sisters hand and went to put it on my husbands dick but my sister pulled her hand away, I was laughing and said "Go for it", My husband slid down into the water and J put my sisters hand in the water, My husband said the next day J was stroking him and my sister was playing with his balls but J denied it when I asked her however my sister confirmed my husbands story, Anyway J moved back to her side of the hot tub and I said "Every mans fantasy" and slid my hand under the water, Me and my sister were both stroking him and he was leaning back with is arms around us, He lifted his hips and showed J and M that we were both doing it and then sat back down.
After a couple minutes we quit...Well, I did, My sister still had her hand under the water so I don't know but then things got more carried away and M told my sister to give him a lap dance, She took her top right off and was grinding him and rubbing what little ass she does have against his groin, I started feeling woozy and tried to stand up but almost fell out of the hot tub, I regained myself and sat on the edge, the booze really hit me hard and then everyone got out of the hot tub, We were sitting on the deck and my sister was on my husbands lap topless, I got up and said "I need to go...I need to...Lay down just for a minute then we are gonna party" and I leaned my chair back.
I could hear them still laughing and drinking and I sat up, I looked at my sister and said "Hey...He's not hard anymore", She laughed and I said "You should take him off my hands tonight because he is going to be horny and I...AM NOT" everyone laughed and I said "Fur realz", I remember passing out for a minute then my sister woke me up and said "Do you really want me to take care of it", I said "Yes...Please do" but in my mind I was thinking she was talking about cleaning up. I sat up and looked around, J and M were both sitting quietly and right away I heard moaning, I looked around and they both looked at the window of the spare bedroom, J said they needed to go and M agreed, They both got up and left but my husband said they came to the door and watched for a minute before leaving.
I woke up the next morning in bed and looked over at my husband, I didn't remember right away but as I poured a coffee it all came flooding back, My sister must have heard me awake and came out, Right away she apologized and I managed to play it cool, I was like "Hey, I said to go ahead", She said "I know but I never should have, I am so sorry", We sat and talked for a few minutes and I asked if she was ok, She looked at me and said "Honestly?...I have never been so sore...I for real think he broke my vagina". I laughed and we talked and she told me a little bit then said "Sorry...I don't know if it's ok to talk about", I said "Oh ya, It's fine" and she gave me some details I could have done without like that she came more times than she ever has and didn't even know she was multi orgasmic and that he came 3 times that she knows of and he has never come more than once with me.
My sister left before my husband woke up but when he did I was angry, We had a fight about it and he said I wasn't allowed to be angry because I told them to do it, I think I can still be mad but I don't know.

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