Can’t stand it and just let go
I’m middle aged married and I now realize bi but never acted on it. My wife does not know, would not understand and it would likely jeopardize the marriage. So I have a few hidden dildos I use when she’s away visiting her mom, usually once a month or so. It’s such a huge relief and excitement when I know she’s leaving because I know I’ll get to play.
I mount the suction cup dildo wherever I can and just slam it into my ass repeatedly while imagining I’m being fucked by an alpha bull stud. I’m fairly handy and with an engineering background I’ve figured out how to create a variety of homemade self fucking devices. I love getting into various positions while imagining my lover pounding my ass. When I eventually stroke and cum with a load moan I imagine he’s ejaculating in me at the same time.
I want to take it to the next level and get fucked by real cock but am nervous about it including health risks to my wife. For now I’ll keep taking my “gay stud lover’s cock” like a whore.