A young erotic experience

I’m in my late 50s now. When I was young, barely 11 and my cousin was an older 13 , almost 14 (both male) we were great friends and used to sleep over at each other’s a lot. Often we would give each other massages imagining it was being done by some celebrity we had a crush on (I remember me imagining Jan from the Brady Bunch and him imagining Marcia…too funny).

Anyway, one time while we were massaging he brought up masturbation although didn’t call it that. I said I did it too and how good it felt. I remember being excited to learn that it wasn’t just me, and that pleasuring yourself was something others did too. I even wanted to demonstrate or do it together, but he didn’t. I was naive and didn’t really know what it was. In hindsight I now realize my masturbation, due to my age, was without erection or ejaculation, just some rubbing and the orgasmic wave of pleasure. I wasn’t conscious of it being sexual, just enjoyable. He, on the other hand by that age, would have been stroking a hard cock and ejaculating. I think the massage turned him on sexually and he brought up masturbation. But I’m guessing he did not want me to see that due to embarrassment around sexual orientation….something he would have understood at his age but I did not yet.

So when we were talking about this and massaging I brushed his cock at one point by accident and realized it was hard. Very hard. I had no sexual experience and really no understanding of straight or gay. But I was instantly excited. I mean off the charts. Didn’t even understand why but it was a very strong feeling. I wanted to touch it again and hold it and I do don’t know what with it. It was a feeling I never had before. I tried to touch it more and let him know I wanted it to be part of the massage. But he was embarrassed and said no. Again in hindsight I realize he understood what homosexuality was and didn’t want that stigma. I was ignorant and didn’t know or care.

That moment was so exciting and erotic. My memory of it is powerful to this day and has never diminished. I’m bi and now in my 50s and have been with at least 30 men but maybe never had a more intensely erotic feeling. It was like it went instantly to my core and woke me up to an exciting new feeling I knew nothing about but wanted a lot more of. In hindsight I also think it was an awakening to the submissiveness I exhibit. My cousin was older, bigger and more powerful. When we would play wrestle and roughhouse he was always in control. Without realizing it at the time I think that understanding of his dominance mixed together in my young mind with the new feeling that came with touching his hard cock and just sent me to a whole new and exciting place.

Nothing more ever happened with my cousin, and we’ve never spoken of it. But I’m reminded of it and writing about it today because last night I had a dream that sort of completed the fantasy of doing more. I dreamt that he grew very hard and big and I sucked him for a long time. In my dream we were young, as before, but my sexual appetite and experience was that of an adult. In the dream his cock was impossibly big, like 12 inches, and thick. But it was a dream, and I deep throated him going balls deep over and over and over. It was wonderful and exciting and so erotic. Like I was 11 again and in bed with him sucking his 13 year cock after just discovering what hard cock even is. Sadly he didn’t come in my dream. Who knows, maybe that’s another dream, or maybe it will happen in reality. Damn, that would take a few drinks! Lol

By Anonymous

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