I had gay sex with my cousin

This first happened when I was 13. My male cousin was 16. They lived in a very rural location in the country. We would visit their family about twice a year. The first time my cousin showed me some magazines of my uncles and we ended up jerking off to the pictures. I think I was 12 that year. The next visit more of the same, but this time he said that since we both liked girls, but there were none around, it wouldn’t be gay if we fucked each other. He said we would just be helping each other out and that he would even go first. I was scared of being gay, be he finally talked me into it. We used butter for lube the first time ( lol! his idea) and I fucked him and it felt amazing! When it came my turn, I’m not sure why but He could never get it in me. I of course didn’t really want to be fucked in the ass, but was trying to return the favor. I guess I was too tense or something. It was only a couple hours before we were trying it again, same results. After this he resolved to just let me fuck him. He enjoyed it as much as I did, or maybe more! For the next week we would fuck every chance we got! Every time we would get alone he would ask me to fuck his ass. And it was new to me, but I truly loved the feeling of his ass on my dick and I would come in him every time! After a few times we didn’t need lube, he would just rub his spit around his asshole and I would slide right in and pound away for the minute or two that it would take to get my nut! I don’t think we slept at all the rest of that week, because at night we had all the privacy we needed and he would wake me up to fuck him every time I was about to nod off! We fucked in the bathroom, the barn, the bushes, and in a camper in their yard!
I left there that year very confused to say the least. I was still only attracted to girls and we never touched other than me holding his legs up, or holding his hips if I was fucking him from behind. No handjobs, blowjobs, and definitely no kissing! But I still enjoyed everything we had done.
Before our next trip I talked my girlfriend (which was a couple years older than me) into letting me fuck her. That and the fact that my cousin that was now driving and had a Truck, and had his girlfriend there to meet us when we arrived, thought that what had happened was over and I was ok with that!
Later that evening he asked me to ride with him to take her home. As soon as we dropped her off he started talking about what we did last summer. I played it off and said, but yea we’ve both got girls now good thing right!
He said that he really like me fucking his ass and would love to do it again if I was willing. I can’t lie, I was hard as a rock before he got it out of his mouth! He pulled down a side road and lubed up his ass with some hand lotion (yea he had this planned) and laid across the seat of his truck with his feet on the ground and said “Fuck Me”! I had grown quite a bit in the last year in all areas and it kinda hurt him going in. It took me about 5 minutes to get fully in his ass. He had become vocal now too, and was talking the whole time telling me “oh baby your dick has gotten so much bigger” and “oh fuck your splitting my ass wide open” “fuck me harder” and my favorite “fuck that boy pussy” I was really pounding him now and came harder than I think I ever had up his ass.
We wiped off and headed to their house, both sated, at least for the moment!
We continued for the rest of that trip, fucking every time we got the chance. Twice towards the end of the week, he asked me to cum in his mouth. He choked and spit cum everywhere the first time, but I think I may have gotten excited and went a little too deep when I was about to cum!
The second time he put his hand around my cock and I came in the front part of his mouth. He was able to keep it all in, then showed me and spit it out in his hand when I was done!
I didn’t care at this point about labels, gay, bi, whatever I just knew I really enjoyed what we were doing. I still wasn’t attracted to guys, just the sex with my cousin!
There was more that happened between us. I will write more in comments if y’all want!
This is getting kinda long, so I’m going to stop here for now.

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