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Engaged and Cheating
I am a 24 year old woman who is engaged to be married in December. My fiance is in the US and I am in India. Long distance relationship is very difficult.
I am here to confess that I am having an affair with my boss at work. It started before I was engaged. I was new at work and had to work very closely with my boss. He and her wife were expecting their second baby at that time and her wife was away with her parents for few months. He gradually made his moves by appreciating my work and dangling the carrot of promotion at work and substantial salary raise. Soon he asked me out for coffee and started texting me about non work related things. One day he appreciated my work attire and other day he said he saw my down blouse and I have great figure. Once he rubben my genitals under the table. I was quite liking the attention I was getting.
He would talk dirty to me and fantasize about loving me. One day he took me out for drive and kissed and groped me. Next he made a plan to take day off from work and rent a hotel room. I don't know why I agreed, but I went ahead with the plan. As soon as we entered the room, he removed all his clothes, forced me to kiss and asked me to suck his penis. I suck his cock for a while but refused to have sex. After this incident, I have realized I am cheating my fiance and have started avoiding him. But he still texts me and talks dirty to me.
Part of me likes attention and want to be slutty and fuck him and part of me realizes that what I am doing is not right and could potentially break my marriage.
My fiance is a nice guy but I don't know how he will react if he finds out what I am hiding from him. Maybe he will break up with me.
I will be leaving my job and start fresh in the US after marriage.
Should I tell my fiance or hide everything from him ? Any suggestions ?
Fuck your boss as much a you want.
Once you move to America, then be faithful. Never tell your husband to be. If you do, and he still marries you, he will never trust you.
Just be a slut for your boss. Let him fuck your ass and pussy!
No no no ...don't do it. Cut ties with boss asap. Delete all history with him...text...emails... picture .. everything.
You will have plenty of sex once you're married in few months. Till then sexually satisfy yourself with toys. You won't have keep the secret and guilt your whole life. Don't do it
45/f here. If you want to have sex with your boss. DO IT! You are in the right situation to do it and no one will know. Use protection. I think this door is open and you will regret it later if you don't.
BTW: I'm married and over the years, I've had sex with most of my bosses. My husband has no clue and I always use protection.
Do you feel guilty of cheating your husband ? How do you get over it ?
Why do you do it with other men ? Why would I regret it if I don;t do it with boss?
OP here. I'm 24f and have never had sex with man. I do use toys and have have given and received oral sex. I am trying to save it after marriage. But it is too hard to no give in to the temptation to fuck the boss.
I do not feel guilty for cheating. Guilt is something that's in your mind.
Question: Why are you tempted to have sex with your boss? Is it an emotional attraction? If so, I could see why you'd feel guilt. Are you physically attracted to him and would like to experience sex with him? If so, then it's OK. As long as sex is just physical then it's fine.
Each person I had sex with while being married wore a condom and I had no emotional attraction or connection with.
If you go through with it, you must insist your partner wear a condom and you must communicate with your boss it's just a physical attraction, nothing else! It must be something YOU want to do also! Do not get pressured into anything or you will feel guilt. In my case, I initiated each time.
He will understand.
Also, the only person I allow to cum inside me is my husband. I love my husband and we are passionate in the bedroom.
All the other were just physical fun. I have no regrets. I hope this helps.
I am tempted because he is the one who gives me this much time and attention. I feel sexually excited when he talks dirty to me. My fiance is a gentleman who has never done anything sexually with me. Not even talking dirty or has ever asked me for any favor or pics or sext .
Also, after marriage I might only have sex with husband. The idea of knowing how it feels to have sex with someone other than to be husband excites me.
Boss is not physically attractive. He promises he will wear condom. But I am scared he will take pictures and I am afraid of getting caught.
You are very smart and it sounds like you know what you want. You are in the perfect situation. You are in another country far from your future husband with a man that sexually excites you. I admit, I would have already had protected sex with if I were in your situation.
I also travel for work a lot and I've had casual sex with most of my male co-workers. Most were also married at the time too. It's all in fun.
I feel for any woman that's only experienced sex with one man. I think it shouldn't be that way.
You mention he's not physically attractive. That's acceptable. I've had casual sex with men that most women would think where not attractive but I in the bedroom, they were great lovers and most have very large equipment too. Don't judge a book by it's cover.
I knew he would agree to a condom. All of my male partners have easily agreed.
You also mentioned photos.....NO WAY! Be firm and insist NO PHOTOS!
NO PHOTOS or NO FUN! You are in control here.
I have plenty of experience in this area. Please trust me.
Believe it or not, you can be up front with men with your intentions. Men will gladly agree to terms. Condom required, No Strings Attached, no kissing and telling & NO PHOTOS.
Don't do it for the sake of your husband. If and when he finds out it will crush him . Damage will be beyond repair and it will mess up your and his life as well.
Also , you don't want to be home wrecker for your boss and his wife. Trust me , my fiance had one night stand with her boss. She could not move on and eventually I found out. Although I did not divorce her but our relationship has struggled great deal. I still think about it 9 years later.
Thank you for sharing your opinion and experience. I might just cave in to my temptations and have it him.
I hope I will move on from this one night stand and start new life after marriage.
Just a suggestion if you are a little hesitant at this point. You mentioned in your original post that you've already given him oral. Initiate giving him oral for a few times. That sets the mood for me.
There have been a few times I've traveled with a married co-worker that's actually a honest & loyal husband that has insisted on not having sex with me but willing to accept a nice long blow job. Each time, I had no issue with oral only. However, in most cases, we ended up having sex after I got started. lol It's all technique and begging your partner to f**k you while doing it. lol Men are so vulnerable when their penis is exposed. lol
In this case, if you are hesitant to go all the way but his flirting/talking dirty arouses you, wear something sexy and initiate oral until he finishes. That will make him desire you more. Cheers and keep me posted.
Just fyi: My conscious did not allow to cheat my fiance. I dod not have sexual intercourse with boss. Met him outside work one last time and told him that I do not want to pursue anything more. He tried to convince me a lot but I did not change my mind.
Thanks for the update. I'm glad you listened to your conscious. That's always the right thing to do.
I am the fiance in your case. My wife had affair with her boss while we were engaged. I had some doubts right before marriage but I continued with the wedding. One month after we were married, I accidentally read their chat history and hen confronted my wife. She said the boss was harassing her and she did not tell anyone out of embarrassment. I was devastated and it took me more than a year to recover from it. Now we are married for 10 years but we are still dealing with relationship issues with each other. Can't forget and move on however hard I try.
Your fiance won't understand. Better forget about it from the day you get married and make sure he never finds out. If he finds out after marriage , he will be devastated and that will result in very bad married life or even divorce. Clean up all traces of affair. Delete msg, text , pics. Block the boss on every social media and start afresh in the new place.