20 years ago I was Raped by my Gay Roommate.

Being raped is a hard thing to talk about. Even harder when you are a guy. Even worse if you was a little kid when it happened. Over 50 years ago I was 11 years old. He was my uncle that was living with us. Started out with him showing me his cock then he was putting his hands in my pants. Have me get naked and on my knees with his dick in my mouth. Teaching me how to give head to him. The whole time he was telling me that I was a good boy and how much he loved me. Little by little I Larned how to deep throat him. He got more excited about that. He would finger my ass when I was sucking his cock. Then one day he told me that I was ready for him to show me how much he loved me. I was sucking him off he had me sit in his lap and he slowly worked his cock into me. Once he was all the way in he made me just sit still and relax. He was so excited that he didn't last long and shot his cum inside of me. After that he raped me almost every day. I couldn't tell anyone. And I didn't know any better thinking that this was normal. It continued until I was 16. He ended up passing away from cancer. I became a bottom slut for many years even after I was married. My wife knew that I was bisexual when we met. She used it to her advantage to start an open marriage. I often wonder what my life would be like if he never raped me in the first place. But I will never know.

People have responded nicely and properly down below but nobody has said you should go to the law about this. It should be investigated there may be other victims. Even if he can’t be prosecuted he still raped you and is bound to be raping other men and people as well. Who knows he may confess to it, you deserve justice.

I lived through that too. It sucked. For me, my roommate always claimed to be straight, so it was even more of a surprise.

Op, do yourself a favor and never tell your wife. If you have to admit to it, switch roles and be the aggressor and claim you did it out of dominance not sex

Did you not say anything because of any number of reasons?

a. It might be embarrassing to you?
b. His word against yours?
c. The stigma associated with being raped by a man as a man?
d. You just wanted to leave it behind?

How have you dealt with this experience
Have you been traumatized?
Has it affected your future relationships?

I hope you were able to deal with any issues and come out a better man.

All of the above but mostly A and C. 20 years ago men having consensual was look down at. I was an athlete and most of my friends where jocks, I would have been known as that Fag.

If I would have gone to the police right away I think they would have made a strong case. I caught him in major 4 lies about that night, a detective would have caught him in 10, maybe got a confession. A jury might not have convinced because he was 30 pounds lighter and nerdy looking.

I dealt with it by transferring from Boston to a small school in western Massachusetts on the other side of the state. Wanted to transfer to the other side of the country but my parents wouldn't pay out of state tuition. Never saw professional help and only told a few friends.

I try not to dwell on it but I probably think about it a least once a week. Came across his LinkedIn profile and I kinda had a flash back, then I was just pissed.

I think I've had mostly good relationships. I did go through a very kinky stage before I marriage. One thing that sticks out is I hated all gays for about a decade after, felt like they where all liars waiting to take advantage.

Very insightful question. Are you a therapist?

Do you sometimes wish you had explored that type of relationship? Obviously not with him but with another man? If you didn't try gay sex after, do you think the trauma from this event "chased" you away from experimenting? Hope you're doing well.

I don't think so because I don't find men attractive. That said it did cause me to hate and not trust all gay men for over a decade. So I never even considered it from my late teens all through my 20s, when most exploring and experimenting is done.

Sorry, last time. Your answer seems like you would consider it now. If so, are you the bottom? Do you fantasize like some rape victims report? Seriously, no judgement. I had a very short career in social work before deciding I needed more money. The human mind is fascinating. Good luck.

Great questions, please keep asking you've been right on and I'm learning a lot about myself. I do like bondage with woman and I am always the sub. Loved being tied up and made completely helpless and sometimes taking a toy in the ass and not having a safe word.

I have read that often times when men (and women) are raped they climax. Did you experience this?

I don't remember. I was completely out.

No I am not a therapist but I’ve been in therapy for many years. I originally went to therapy because my ex-wife and I at the time had a very toxic relationship. We eventually divorced but I continued therapy. Dealing with the I guess in my case the trauma I felt from being married to a narcissist for so long. My therapist has said that I’m an empath. She said I was probably a natural empath but my marriage to someone who didn’t care about my feelings heightened my ability to understand other people, their feelings and emotions very easily. She told me it’s an amazing ability to have but also can be very dangerous because while I can feel what someone is feeling I don’t know why they are feeling that way. She told me I cannot assume to know why they are feeling the way they feel so I can either try to avoid feeling what they feel, simply accept they are feeling this way or develop an understanding of why people feel the way they do. So over the years I have tried to focus less on what someone is feeling and more on why they are feeling that way. I’ve read 1,000s of articles and books on feelings, emotions, why people feel the way they do, peoples personalities (like why one can love someone so much and their partner not care if they hurt them) and how personalities affect relationships and people generally.

I’m my case I focused on me and how my ex-wife made me feel. What did I like and not like and so on. Took all the things I liked and built on making those better. Looked at all the things I didn’t like and asked why. Why I didn’t like them, how they made me feel, the situations when I felt that way and what I was doing in them.

It helped me to rid myself of all the resentment and bad feelings and do my best to move forward. Like everyone I slip back into the way she made me feel but I’ve become quite aware of when I’m doing this and make conscious decisions to move forward. It’s not easy but it is necessary.