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My past rlfriend was a hotwife, but my current wife refuses the l
I dated a girl for 12 years who refused to marry me. Other than marriage, we were perfect in every way. We lived a swinger life, attending parties at least once a month to swap with a group of friends. She and I have done many threesomes with other women and men. There was no doubt she was perfect. I lost her to health issues several years ago, and needless to say I was devastated.
Life moved on and I met a fabulous woman at a work client party. We hit it off straight away, and 2 years later we were married. At the time, I had stepped away from the swinger life, so it never occurred to me that I should bring it up. Not long after we married, I started thinking about the lifestyle and brought it up to her. She was very open to dirty talk in the bedroom, and is also willing to get male and female sex dolls so we can roleplay with them, but she refuses to ever have sex with another man, nor let me have sex with another woman. I thought maybe it was the issue of me having sex with another woman, so I offered to become a cuck while she became a hotwife, but she still said no.
I don't understand why she wouldn't want to have sex with another guy? I am giving her permission. I even told her she could have sex with whomever she wanted. I even told her she could do it without me being there at first, just to get comfortable, but she still refuses. She already knows about my past lifestyle, and admits that she's confident I wouldn't get mad at her. So why won't she do it? She keeps telling me she doesn't know why, just that she doesn't want to. I have stopped asking her, but I still wonder why she won't. I would think every woman would love to have the arrangement I offered her. I don't get it.
The first thing that comes to mind is because it's something very very intimate that you shared with someone else. Imagine if her ex was a cowboy and was a professional bull rider and she always wanted to go to the rodeo, I'm sure there would be some insecurities and jealousy that might come up for you. But since it's sex with other people I'm sure there's worries and doubts in her mind that's 100 times worse than a rodeo. There could be a lot of other blocks for her too. I think if you create a safe space for her and figure out the right approach to take, as well as play the long game, all patience and zero pressure, she very well could be open to baby steps.
Probably due to her upbringing. Doesn't want to be a bad girl, slut, etc. Nothing you can do other than try to loosen her up. See if she'll go to a gentlemens club with you. Maybe visit an adult toy store. Watch some porn together.