Please know I'm sorry my love
A quick backstory, I dated a guy for 3 years after highschool. He was amazing in every way except one. He's hot, built, funny, gorgeous hair, and the sex was out of this world. Of course it also helped that he had a large one and was also skilled with his tongue and fingers. Oh my God, the things that man can do to me, just makes me wet thinking about him. The bad thing was he liked to show of his skills to other women as well. So our relationship never made it past dating, and then I broke it off for good.
I started dating a super nice guy who treats me like a queen. He's nice looking, and does everything my ex refused to do. We dated for a year before I walked down the aisle on the happiest day of my life. I was marrying almost the perfect man. Perfect in every way except for the bedroom. Sex is ok with him, but it has never been mind blowing. We have mundane sex always in the missionary position and he never uses his tongue or fingers. He has a better than average size penis, but he doesn't really know how to use it. He just sticks it in me until he gets off which is normal in a couple minutes. Then he acts as if it was some great accomplishment. Meanwhile I'm laying there wondering if the batteries are dead in my vibrator so I can go finish myself off in the bathroom. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anyone else in the world, and he is a great man. He just doesn't satisfy me in the bedroom. I'm sure it would have been different had I never been with my AMAZING exboyfriend, but I can't forget what he used to do to me in the bedroom.
I had no intentions on contacting my ex, matter a fact, I have been married now for 6 years. Then I ran into my ex at the coffee shop. The second I saw him, my heart started fluttering and I lost my breath. We sat and talked for awhile, catching up on old times. The more we talked, the more I became aroused. I tried not to think about it, but I just couldn't help myself. I knew I was going down a path I didn't want to be on, but I just kept going. I kept telling myself to get up and walk away, but I didn't. I knew he would have sex with me if I asked. My final defense was telling myself not to ask him. Do NOT ask for sex. Just say goodbye and walk away. And I didn't. I just had to hug him goodbye, and when I did, I whispered in his ear that I needed him instead me.
I followed him back to his house, the whole time telling myself to just turn around, turn down a different street, something. I even prayed for someone to bump my car with theirs so I would have to stop, but I made it to his house instead. Even as I was walking to the door with his hand on my ass, I kept telling myself to turn around. Instead I followed him inside and to the bedroom. We started kissing and I knew it was happening. We stripped our clothes off and he immediately started caressing my clit with his tongue. It felt so good, and it had been forever since I felt that aroused. I laid back and let him use his tongue on every inch of my body. I had lost track of how many time I orgasmed before he even penetrated me. I felt his penis rubbed against my vagina, and I made one last attempt to convince myself that I hadn't actually cheated yet. If I stopped him then I could still walk away, but I didn't. I let him penetrate me sinking his shaft inside me. It felt amazing all over again. I let him ravage me and fuck me the way he used to. For over an hour, he flipped me and turned me every direction giving me what I needed.
After we finished and said our goodbyes, I felt sick. I had just cheated on the man I love and vowed to spend the rest of my life with. He didn't deserve this and I surely didn't deserve him. I battled for days with myself on whether I should come clean or forget the whole thing ever happened. I decided that I would own this pain myself and save him from the daily misery I brought on myself. My only fear now is can I stop myself the next time I see my ex. I cry myself to sleep at night knowing that I have been a horrible person to my husband, but I know I won't be able to stop myself the next time I see him.