Watched 'Venus' documentary on Netflix and ...

It brings up so many emotions. I just want to kill myself. I'm so conflicted by being nice and respectful but this inhibits of asking for what I really want. Love, and intimacy and sex. I'm fucking in my 50s and still feel like I did in High School and College. Fuck, why can't it get any better? Now, I'm old, fat and will never be in the same shape as younger...I'm so disgusted with myself and my body.

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