A Very Special Birthday
I was 25. It was my birthday. I'd been seeing my boyfriend for about a year. I didn't start out intending to have sex, but I must admit that I had thought about it. I had wanted him for a while, but I was raised to wait for marriage. Still, on this particular day my desire for him was especially strong.
My boyfriend said he had a very special birthday present for me, so we went to his house. There he carried out a well executed seduction. I was more than a bit reluctant, but I was in love with him, so eventually his gentle persistence won me over. He was kind, sweet, romantic, gentle, and persistent and respectful of my feelings and eventually my resistance fell away. I couldn't resist anymore.
He had mentioned to me a few times that he had an urge to make love to me, but that he respected my feelings enough not to pursue it. I had felt the urge too, but I had always managed not to succumb to it. Somehow, this day felt different, though I didn't realize why.
He started to make small, subtle advances and I barely noticed. Or maybe I didn't want to notice. The wet kisses passed unnoticed. He mentioned again that he had been thinking a lot about making love to me lately. Gradually, the advances got more direct and forward.
Somewhere along the line, I started to say no and it came out OK. That's when I knew it was time. I was surprised, but I knew I was ready, due to his persistence. So I gave in. I was scared, nervous, uncomfortable, but exhilarated, happy, excited, and curious. I actually found myself looking forward to it. I was overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure and the romantic moment.
I sent him out of the room, then I stripped my way up the stairs, leaving a boot at the foot of the stairs, another boot a couple of steps up, my dress a couple of steps after that, my pantyhose a step up from there, my bra at the top of the stairs, and my panties hanging on the doorknob of the bedroom.
I waited completely naked on the bed, wrapped in a sheet. He quickly stripped down to his undies and climbed on the bed next to me. I was tingling. After a little foreplay, I took his underpants off. Then we curled up and gave each other oral simultaneously. We did that for about half an hour.
Then I rolled over on my back and he went inside. We had intercourse for quite a long time. He was very good, and he told me he enjoyed it too. I had two or three orgasms and he came too. It was excellent! He was very good! It was passionate and romantic, about as good as a girl's first time can be.
Afterwards, I felt a mix of emotions: sadness, exhilaration, excitement, disappointment, deep romance, nervousness, peace, a bit of regret, but also happiness, satisfaction, and a myriad of other feelings. It was all something of a jumble.
It was a wonderful first experience, very romantic and tender. He was patient and he was very good. I felt like part of me had just died, but I also felt like I had just started an exciting new adventure, one I would enjoy many times afterwards. What a great birthday present!
That was a very nice retelling of your first time. I’m happy for you.
I do have a few comments and maybe a question or two.
You say you were raised to wait to have sex until you are married. That advice and the place it is generally taught have ruined or at least damaged many otherwise good people. It creates much trauma within individuals. They are told it’s bad and you’ll go to hell if you do. Those that turn away from that teaching usually are hurt by their sexual activities because they are reveling. Those that follow those teachings either have been so damaged by them they will never have a sexually satisfying relationship or they can’t believe what they missed and go crazy.
It was a wonderful experience, romantic and tender and yet you had so many mixed feelings it could not have been as wonderful as you say it was. I don’t mean to tell you how you felt but something wonderful should not give you feelings of regret, disappointed and sadness. It was so wonderful that you felt regret and sadness? I do not understand that. If you check this I am open to understanding how that could be.
My only question is at 25 you have not had enough teachings, education, life experiences (walking in a park to sky diving) and everything else you are to make up your own mind about when to have sex? I apologize if I sound like I am questioning your beliefs but at some point one’s beliefs should be their beliefs and not those that you grew up with.
I am happy your friend was considerate of your beliefs and feelings. Don’t make him regret honoring your wishes. Whatever they may be. People can sometimes miss that they do not consider their SO’s feelings and beliefs. If done too long they can have amputated their SO’s soul. As Al Pachino said in Scent of a Woman, “There is no prosthetic for an amputated soul.”