My Dumbass Cousin

Me and My Cousin never get along, we've been fighting since we were kids and in particular there were times our parents had to pull us apart because our fighting was seen as embarrassing especially when we were little we fought eachother at Thanksgiving and had to be told to get along.

One time when he came to visit we would play Slap Tag by slapping eachother in the face while running around our Grandma's house that later escalated into a fight between me and him.

When I went to his house he was so bossy, bratty, and always wanted me to do whatever he wants because it was his house, needless to say everytime we played video games he cheats and brags about it and calls me a loser and I punch him and we end up fighting.

When we played a board game he was always changing the rules so much and whenever I told him I was tired of playing the same game he would refuse to listen to me and call me a loser so once again the fists started flying until me and him were both separated.

We then played Checkers one time and as always he fucking cheats and then hbreaths his disgusting pickle breath knowing how much I hate pickles and then I took the Checkers Board and hit him upside the head with it causing checkers to fly all over his room and then he takes out an old VHS Video and hit me in the head with a video and then all hell broke loose as both of our parents had to pull us apart.

One time we were doing a contest at the Mall and I was the one who found the thing that needed to be found and then he starts saying he found it first and I yelled at him saying I found it first and then we ended up fighting in the damn store where the contest was held at leading to our family being banned from the Mall.

Then we had Baseball Practice one time and when I stopped at First Base he caught the ball and said I was out when clearly I was safe and before long we got into an argument and then we had a basebrawl on the Baseball Field as teammates, coaches, and our dads had to sperate us both as we were both benched from playing Baseball and were both Grounded as a Consequence.

Then one time my Dumbass cousin started getting on my nerves when we were in the car while his Dad was running an errand as he puts his damn fucking nasty ass feet in my face and then flicks rubber bands at me and we ended up exchanging punches until his dad got back in the truck and as we were riding in his Truck he starts punching me and I hit him back and his Dad tells us to knock it off with the fighting as he pulled his truck over to break up our backseat brawl.

Then My Uncle took us to Dairy Queen and we did nothing but argue by calling me a geek and a loser and we had a food fight at Dairy Queen as we threw fries at eachother he hits me with his hotdog and got mustard on my face and then I stood up and chased his ass into the Dairy Queen and put him in a headlock and then dragged him into the restroom and then we started fighting in the Dairy Queen Restroom as I wanted to put his head in the toilet and give him a swirlie but his dad breaks us up.

His Dad stops at a Gas Station and again my dumbass Cousin continues to piss me off and tried taking me shoes and throwing them out the window and I took his hat and threw it out the window and then we got into a fight at the Gas Station and was broken up when my Uncle saying will you boys ever get along.

Then one time at Thanksgiving my dumbass cousin got on my nerves with the name calling and breathing his pickle breath at me, I fucking threw mashed potatoes at him and he threw Green Beans at me and then I took a pie and threw it at him and before you know we had a food fight that turned into a fist fight with me and him brawling on the table s food got ruined and we were both punished.

Me and my cousin haven't talked to each other in years and it's no skin off my back because my cousin is a fucking dumbass.

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