Very embarrassing realization
I'm 42. During my teens and early 20's I considered myself to have an average size penis soft/hard. As I've aged I'm aware I've lost some length but I've become used to thinking of being just below average when erect and small when soft.
I am awake its common for overweight men to look smaller.
I've never been self-conscious of it before. In fact I sometimes didn't mind if people saw my willy. I knew it looked smaller but I could see the funny side and I felt that everyone could tell it was mainly just my fat making it look smaller in relation to my large body size.
For example I once posted a cock in a sock photo on Facebook and it was me naked except for a small sock. I wasn't aware until the next day that if you just zoomed in a bit, the outline of my willy was clearly visible. Although I flushed a bit when I realized that, I still wasn't to bothered.
Anyway, recently someone I know saw me nude while I was asleep. She's subsequently referred to me as having a micropenis. I took it as jest, knowing she was saying it was small but assuming it wasn't meant literally.
She had said it a few times over the course if some weeks, and the last time she said it I thought I'd send her a micropenis meme as a reply.
So I googled "micropenis photo" and to me utter shame I saw that most of the photos bore a striking resemblance to my penis.
A couple of the photos showed erections and they looked just like mine in size and girth.
I googled "micropenis erect"
And sure enough most of th images looked like they could have been my own dick pic. One had a tape measure and it was the same length as mine.
I felt like time stood still. It was bizarre. It was like someone turned around one day and pointed out that I had third ear on the back of my head that everyone knew about but I hadn't had a clue it was there.
So many things went through my head. Firstly the fact that I had an actual medical defect that I'd been oblivious to, but worse than that, she had seen me naked and knew that what I had was not just a small willy but an actual micropenis. I actually trembled with humiliation and shame as it dawned on me. I knew that she had probably told several other people in our close circle.
Then memories came and i felt embarrassed about things in the past that had gone over my head. Like the photo I mentioned on Facebook. I'd done it to prove that average guys with average or small Willy's should post for charity too. I was surprised how astounded so many people were that I'd done it. I thought there wld be some banter but I didn't expect some of the serious messages I got from male friends saying they couldn't believe I'd shown the photo. I had just scoffed at their inadequacy and felt quite proud of myself for not being so meek myself.
But all of a sudden I'd learned what everyone else knew...I've got a micropenis.
It's so disgraceful to me. Not the fact they've seen my penis really but that I didn't know I had a micropenis but they all did. I feel...foolish beyond words.
My girlfriend pretended she didn't know when I showed her the photos I'd seen online and she agreed they looked like mine. But I think she must've known. I couldn't get how I hadn't noticed but thinking about it I would only see my own junk if I was naked and sitting up or in a mirror rarely. My belly stopped me seeing it when I was stood up straight. Obviously when I was sat it was shrivelled.
I wanted to see a photo of myself so I could compare it to the images online. I went to the bathroom and got naked. I asked my gf to take a photo and she was reluctant. She must have guessed that I was going to be shocked. But she did it and showed me. I couldn't believe it! I was smaller than some of the photos online. Crushed.
Bless her heart, she just said she loved me and it didn't matter.
I just can't believe I never knew. I'm uncomfortable now and I'm dreading seeing anyone.