I am a closet feedee. I fantasized about gaining weight for years until last summer when I decided to do it for real. I have a live in boyfriend, so it's hard to stuff myself outside of huge meals. So I started waiting until he'd plug into his video games for a few hours, and doing my thing then. While he talks to his buddies, I'm in the bedroom chugging whole milk and shoving little Debbie cakes in my mouth until my stomach hurts.
Then I go through this shame/horny cycle where I feel ashamed about how much more fat I'm going to put on. Whether my boyfriend will care when I'm bigger. And then I get turned on by fantasies of my boyfriend telling me to lose weight. And I rub myself until the edge and then go to interrupt his game to fuck, so he can feel the size of my stuffed body and my round gut pushing into him.
I almost want him to shame me for my weight. He never says anything about missing food, just replaces it. He has only brought up my weight gain when I busted out love handles and he said "It was good jiggling curves." I've put on 62 lbs and he only acknowledges my bigger gut when he kind of kneads my fat while we watch TV. I just wish he'd degrade me a little while I blimp out.