My secret story
Im a happily 46yo married male with 2 kids. When i was 9-12years old i was molested by my fathers ranch hand and his brother during these years who lived on the farm not far from us. I would roam around the ranch usually alone and mostly un-supervised and it kind of all started when one brother invited me into his house. He had a bunch of porno mags laying around and it was the first time i had seen anything like this. They would ask me to look through them mostly and nothing really came of it early on. This happened several times over some weeks and one time they had porn on Tv. I dont recall clearly how i felt at the time but i often felt i just ended up there somehow and was curious. The next time i ended up there the porn was on again and i was asked to sit on his lap to watch a similar scene between a man and woman where she sat on his lap. This was the first time I remember him rubbing his hand on me telling me how pretty i was and was actually aroused with a hard on. Early on thats all that would happen. We did this for who knows how long, usually during the summer break where i had lots of free time to be out and about on the farm.
For this first year or so it was the older brother only and usually when the other brother wasnt around. By then he had started to play with my cock as i sat on his lap only unzipping me enough to let it out. He would never play with himself that i can remember, only really focusing on me on his lap, watching porn. He eventually gave me my first orgasm around 10yo. By that point i had not seen him even undressed. Around this period of time the memories get a bit foggy. I dont recall how many times this happened but it was fairly often.
My memories fast forward to being around 11. On the farm was a big workshop and a bunch of junk farm equipment on one side. This is the first time that the other brother took me to an old enclosed trailer. I dont even know how we got there, but he layed there with his pants down and had me hold and stroke his cock. He told me he knew what i and his brother where doing and it scared me. He said something along the line of “i better be a good girl or im going to tell your dad”. This frightened me alot and i didnt want that to happen. The ‘good girl’ is something that at that point completely altered my identity as a boy and would be the start of things to come.
The next most very vivid experience I remember was being in there house one day, same story.. porn on, semi dark in living room but both brothers where there this time. Often if not most of the time i dont remember how i got there but i did. The younger brother i recall saying how cute i was with a bag in his hand, showing me lots of girly underwear and eventually they made me try them on. It was some pink panties and a pink see through lacy top.
This went on for sometime, going over to model girly clothes for them, by then they would both masterbate mostly, touching me and watching porn. I realized at some point that they where watching transexual porn and it was how they groomed me to begin to see myself behaving in this way. At one point i saw one brother cum for the first time.
I could tell so much more as things got more involved up until the age of 12 but i think i will leave it here for now