Not sure if I should continue

I'm a woman in my late 20s. I've been in a very fulfilling relationship with an older man, but new information that came up has made me feel a little... icky about it.
As we've grown closer, he's opened up about his life, the good things and the stuff he's not proud of. Recently, we had a conversation on the mistakes he made in his life, and how at this late stage of it he's been trying to do things right. So he told me a story of how he was 20 when he knocked up his younger girlfriend, and consciously walked out on her to pursue studying abroad and vanished from her life, never to be heard from again. Years later, when he tried to make things right and came back, he'd found out she died years before, and couldn't find out the name of his child.
Here's the thing: when he mentioned his girlfriend's name and told the story, I felt a growing sense of dread. The girl's name was my mother's, who had me at about the same age he estimated, and I was born the year after he says he got her pregnant. I was registered with my mom's last name with no mention of the father, and she always refused to talk about him, so I never learned his name. She died a few years ago... the same year he says he came back to the town I'm from and my mom lived all her life.
So if you connect the dots, there's a good chance I've been dating and having sex (... great sex) with my own father without knowing it. I have no more family to ask, and I'm not on speaking terms with my mom's best friend. I could ask, but... Ignorance is bliss. Now I'm weirded out, but I could also pretend it's all a coincidence. I can't just ignore the fact that I've fallen deeply in love with him and that our chemistry in bed is dynamite.

14 Comments

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  • That story has been told countless times over the last three decades. Come up with a new one incest fucks.

  • Absolutely do not take a DNA test. It will prove that you know so can = jail if you decide to marry.

  • The trouble is they do a back ground check anyway so there would nothing lost from doing a DNA test

  • Some questions you don't want to ask, if you do you might like answer, if he was your biological father what would you do, could you continue with an incestuous with you father
    or not some would leap at the chance just for the experience, could you let him penetrate you knowing what you know now

  • Ignorance is bliss.
    Keep rocking it with daddy. Doesn't it make your sex feel just a little bit naughtier?

  • It's going to be an unavoidable problem. You can kick the can down the road for while (months, maybe even years) but at some point you're going to have to face the music and get an answer. The first time you have a pregnancy scare you won't be able to hide your fears. And that's not s good time to bring up "hey I might be pregnant and it night be your grandchild."

    It's entirely possible he's down for continuing a sexual relationship with his own daughter. Hell, he night have his own suspicions. If you truly love him (as a partner and potentially as a daughter) you'll raise your suspicion with him and you'll decide together how you want to handle things.

    You're right in that you'll never be able to have a "normal" relationship with him if it turns out that he is your father. But what's there to say that finding out the answer doesn't bring you closer together? Incest is a common fetish and there are a lot more couples with family ties than you'd think.

  • Good advice.

  • I say leave Pandora's box closed. No good will come from looking too deep into this 🤷‍♂️

  • You should continue your relationship but you should speak to him about your suspicions. Dna test would be a good idea.

  • If only you could both take a DNA test somehow.

  • Yeah, I did think of that. But I don't think it's gonna look good to casually walk in one day and say "hey, let's take a DNA test to see if I, the woman you've been fucking for months, is also your lost daughter". Unless I steal some of his hair or spit while he's asleep or something.
    Still, the issue here is not so much about how to find out, but IF I want to find out. It's a lid that there's no way to put back on, and it's not exactly like I'd "win" a father. After what we've done in bed there's no way we could look at each other in the eye. I'd just lose a lover.

  • Try Ancestry.com
    Everyone does that. See if your results are similar.

  • You won't lose him at all. If anything it may bring you closer together! There is absolutely no reason for either of you to stop this relationship. GSA happens all the time.

  • Talk to him

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