How to bring it up?

I'm a married woman, 40s. I'm very happy with my husband, and while he keeps me satisfied in bed, there's something I've been missing for a long time.
When I was younger, I was very liberal, sexually speaking. I experimented a lot with my body and sexuality, and early on I discovered I was driven crazy from having multiple sexual partners... usually more than one at the same time. I was about 20 when I had the most powerful orgasm I've ever experienced, from being made love to by two friends at the same time (simultaneous vaginal and anal intercourse). It was ground-shattering, the kind of orgasm that left me shaking and moaning uncontrollably. I experienced several of those back in the day.
When I met my husband and married him, I settled and kept my sexual past to myself, out of fear of being judged or even dumped, because even to this day, us women are harshly judged because of our sex lives. But I do want to experience that again, and I'm afraid of what he could say or how he could react.
And it's not like my husband's a misogynistic conservative or anything. He's a fantastic lover, in fact, just a little bit conventional and resistant to new ideas. But the truth is, he alone will never be able to make me orgasm like that. I just fear that, if I propose a threesome to him, it could hurt his self-esteem, or something worse. I've been thinking that, to ease him in, it might be wise to have him use toys on me (a dildo in my ass while he penetrates me vaginally might be a good substitute in the meantime). Any other ideas?

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  • You sound like my wife in college. Her boyfriend and his trusted good looking roommate (she was smitten for)- But no butt stuff, getting spit roast was her poison. We both have better orgasms when she's fantasying SR with a dildo in her mouth. We were married around 3 years when she just sprung that confession on me. I was like WTF. She's like June Cleaver outside the bedroom, a nymphomaniac inside. Well anyway she wants a hall pass for some more SR action. I said maybe on vacation with a perfect storm. She wants (won't get) a regular spit roast FWB 'just for the oral part'.

  • You need to start by asking him during sex to share fantasies. Get him to open up about his fantasy. You know, stroke his ego and tell him he's the best lover you've ever had. Tell him you really want to know his deepest fantasies, who knows, sharing you may be his fantasy too. But make sure he knows that you want to hear his fantasy, whatever it may be and reassure him you won't judge him. Tell him it's only fantasies and no harm in talking dirty in the bedroom. Then when he finally tells you and if it's not about sharing you, then you go ahead and tell him about you fantasy. Make sure he knows that he is the center of your fantasy with a nameless and faceless male playing second fiddle to please you. Keeping telling him this fantasy while never putting a name or face on the other man. He will eventually ask if you want to do your fantasy, then let him pick the other guy. If he can't or you don'tlike who he picks, then give him some suggestions. Hope this helps.

  • Keep doing the dildo thing. Here’s what my sneaky wife did; she’d have the dildo in her pussy and me in her ass and she’d say “I wish you could clone yourself and there’d be two of you so I could feel you both in me! I want both of you to suck my tits at the same time and I want to suck your cock while the other guy licks my pussy. Wouldn’t you like to watch me bent over taking cock in my ass while I suck you? Would you like to see me sucking another cock while you do me then switch again and again? Wouldn’t you like to see my face covered in both of your cocks cum?” She kept saying those things during sex over and over again until I came up with the bright idea of “let’s have a three some”. By then she had firmly aroused me in sharing her with a clone of myself, that another guy was just a prop. Now we have threesomes usually about every other month for the past 6 years or so. Holy crap, that’s like 24 other guys she’s had sex with. I never thought about it like that. What a little sneaky slut! Getting me to liking her having sex with lots of other guys! Even getting me to want for her to only have guys with big cocks.

  • Nice!

  • Do the dildo and cock thing, let him fuck your ass and you can use the dildo in your pussy. Being a guy that’s married, having another guy fucking your girl just isn’t cool, unless it’s his idea, or set something up while he is out of town so he won’t know.
    What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him

  • My wife comes from a very conservative culture. I really thing that it would ruin our marriage if we had a threesome. But I'd be open to it.

    She gets totally hot if I narrate a threesome fantasy while we have sex. But it can only be a fantasy with her. No way in real life. Too bad. She's missing out on what could be a lot of fun.

    You sound like a fun wife.

  • Swing that way you get something and so does he

  • My wife had been hinting at wanting a more open marriage for years. She would watch TV shows dealing with polygamy and ask me what I thought about it. I'd respond with, "IDK if I have the strength to deal with two women at once."
    Then one day she asked me again. I said the same thing. She said, "Well I didn't mean another wife. I meant me with another husband." I said, "You not happy with me?" She said, "Nothing like that. Just that you are gone for work for up to 3 weeks at a time." (I work on an oil rig.) I said, "So you'd want someone to keep from being lonely while I'm gone?" She said, "Exactly." I said, "What about one of your friends?" She said, "I'm not a lesbian." I said, "So you are wanting sex then?" She said, "Well yeah." I said, "How often would you be thinking?" She said, "You really want to know?" I said, "Yes. You're serious about this right?" She said, "Well as little as once a week. As much as once a day." I said, "So daily?" She said, "You know how horny I get sometimes." I said, "What about when I'm home?" She said, "I'd never deny you sex and I'm open to the idea of a threesome." I said, "Well, assuming you find a guy and explain the situation and he's open to the idea to sex with the both of us, I'm ok with it." This is where she was shocked. She said, "Sex with the both of us?" I said, "Well yeah. If we have a threesome I'm gonna want to suck his dick and some anal action." Long story short, she's had a second husband for about a year and a half now.

  • Watch some porn about threesomes see how he reacts. Tell him that turns you on watching it. Buy some toys like u said a dildo in your ass and him in your pussy. Maybe role play pretend him and his friend get u drunk and fuck u. Watch some cockoid. Ask him if that would turn him on seeing you get fucked by another man. I was watching porn with my girlfriend and she said that turns me on being with another male while I watched. But don’t tell him about your pass.

  • Tell him you feel. Some guys would love to tag team their wife with another guy. Others might do it, if there is something more in it for them, like you bringing in some new pussy for him to screw. Find common ground, and let us know what happened.

  • And this, gentlemen, is why you should never marry a woman with "lots of experience". 😐

  • Why? They are the best.

  • Anyone with a lot of experience ends up settling down and having bad thoughts eventually

  • Start by having a 3some with another woman . When he sees you licking her pussy and asshole his cock will be so hard that he will be open to anything including you getting fucked by another big cock.

  • I agree. Give him another woman and pleasure him then ask if you can get the same treatment

  • Finding another woman to fuck with a couple is like looking for gold dust. I think the best idea is to use the dildo during sex and then introduce MMF porn. Over time he might come round to it happening in person. Should be much easier to find a suitable man. Just don't go down the bull route as I don't expect he wants to be cuckolded.

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