Always proud to be straight, now questioning
Ok Im going to be totally honest here and say that Ive always benn kind of homophobic. I never wanted to, like, beat up gay dudes or anything but I always figured being gay was kind of sick and pathetic. Ive called gay guys names behind their backs forever, mostly "faggot". Ive never even felt bad about it until now.
Anyway, I was always proud to be straight. Im 23 and have been with a few girls and only watched straight porn and stuff. Sure I preferred the dudes to have big cocks but not because I wanted to look at their cocks or anything.
So I have an older brother who I always figured was as straight as me. Im staying with him for a few weeks over the summer and when I got there a couple of days ago I got there in the morning instead of afternoon when i was supposed to. I cant find him when i get there so I go upstairs to look. When I get there his bedroom door is open and I hear a lot of moaning. I sneak over and look in and I see my brother on the bed on his back with his feet up on some dark skinned dude's shoulders and the guy is fucking his ass hard.
Just looking at this guy from the back I can tell that hes lean and muscled and I realized I was staring at his clenching ass and jiggling balls. I got hard and almost came in my pants. All i could do was get out of there as quiet and fast as i can.
I ended up driving around the city for hours but my erection wouldnt go down. Twice I had to pull into a back alley and jerk off until I came. Im even touching my dick as I write this in my brother's spare bedroom. When i close my eyes I can still see him getting fucked by that dude. I have no idea what to think or what to say to him.
The worst thing is that now Im thinking of my brother as a faggot and Im calling myself one inside my head too. I shouldnt but thats what im thinking. Does this mean Im gay?