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I think about having a special girl to do whatever I want with. This special girl has only known to be submissive her whole life. She thinks of herself as ugly. She has no self-esteem. She needs me to control her every move and make her feel loved. Shes nice to everyone, even though everyone has treated her like shit. She is desperate for love and attention, she will literally do whatever I want for that love and attention even if she is scared to or thinks its gross. Even though at times it might seem i hate her, i would love her deeply, I would always protect her, and always make her feel special. I wonder if I'll ever find this special girl...
Good luck. That type of woman is the fantasy of most men, but if you're okay with ugly or fat, then you are likely to find what you're looking for because they are desperate for a male companion.
What you desire is a possibility. There are women out there that are exactly what you want, or, I should say, what you think you want. Some of them are even beautiful. However, most of the time they are accompanied by so much mental / emotional baggage that you won't be able to afford their therapy nor will you like the changes that come with them finally liking themselves. Good luck, though.