Humiliated again in front of girlfriend
A few months ago I had a physical confrontation with my girfriend's ex in front of her, which I posted it here as well. I did not get physically hurt, but he was able to block me more than once and eventually he made me ask to get free. I think he enjoyed showing my girlfriend that he was stronger. I later found out that he knows karate. My girlfriend has told me not to worry about that and that she loved me anyway, but since then I have lost my confidence in life and bed. To try to get it back I hit the gym and learned some self defence too. Even though my girlfriend didn't want to, I wanted to confront him again.
Two days ago I went to a party outside with my girfriend because I knew that he would be there. I felt my testosterone was very high, I wanted to teach him a lesson. I dressed similarly to last time, because I knew my girlfriend likes tough-looking looks, and because I wanted it to be as similar as last time, but with me as a winner. So I wore grey jeans, a black t-shirt and a blue levi's sherpa denim jacket. I was careful not to mention his name so that my girlfriend may not think I wanted to confront him. Once there I was with some friends while my girlfriend was just a few feet away with her group. Her ex and I met "casually", and he soon started to make fun of last time. at that moment I told him that I could teach him a lesson whenever he wanted, and he told me to try. I tried to attack him, but he revealed himself much faster than what I thought.
In a few moves he had me immobilized while he was almost calm giggling and laughing. He told me then angrily that he would teach me a lesson, and he did. whenever I tried to fight back, he blocked me in a painful position, untli eventually he had beding forwards on a table with my arm bent behind my back. I was only freed after apologising to him more than once. My friends later told me that basically all they could see was him constantly grabbing me by my denim jacket and putting me in some holds.
When i went back to my girfriend she was beside herself with rage. she told me that I knew that I should not have worried about him, and that I had been stupid wanting to confront him again and what I wanted to obtain with that. She also told me that he is a black belt in karate and probably judo too since he was 14 or so, and that I was lucky that he stopped there. I felt and still feel miserable, and my girlfriend is mad at me. Now I have lost every piece of confidence I had regained, both in life and in bed.