Wife offers it up
So I used to work in a restaurant and I have been gone for a few years. So the other day Im talking to one of my guys. He facetimes me for some reason. Showing me his new game room. My wife hears me talking and comes in and says, "Who are you talking to?" I said, "Jeff. One of my guys from a while back." She said, "He cute?" Now keep in mind my wife says shit like this all the time. I said, "Fuck if I know." She said, "Lemme see him." She comes over and looks. She said, "Oh, yep, he is cute. He got a big dick?" I said, "Wtf babe. Im not asking him that." Jeff says, "What is she on about?" I said, "She asked if you have a big dick." He said, "Stacy, you there?" She said, "Yep." He said, "I'm 9 inches. That big enough?" She said, "Bullshit." He said, "I promise you I am." She said, "You come over here and show me a 9 inch dick and you can put it anywhere in me you want." I said, "Um. Hello. I AM here." She said, "What? Sometimes a girl needs more than 5 inches in her." Jeff says, "Dude, you're only 5 inches?" I said, "Yeah. So?" He says, "I may have to come over and give your woman a proper dicking." She said, "Honey, seriously, you come over here and pull out a 9 inch dick and you can fuck me anywhere you want."