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Married Ohio guy with a secret
So, I remarried last summmer to an incredibly beautiful/sexy wife. We met when we were both still married and had a steamy love affair. Our sex life is amazing, but I have recently found myself wanting something more. I find myself daydreaming about “being with” another man. No one in particular, but the thought of a sexual experience with another guy is intoxicating to me. This thought has become an obsession of mine and I’d really like to act on it. Would love to talk to other “straight” men who have experimented with other guys.
Like one of the other commenters, I was also where you are and eventually acted on it. Not to be the devil sitting on your other shoulder, but while I absolutely wrestle with guilt I also think it was worth it, and I shudder to think of the idea of depriving myself.
I dipped my toe at first, just brief stroking under a stall wall. Each time I swore to myself that it was the last time, yet not only did I always eventually get "the craving" again, I gradually over the course of several years allowed myself to go further and further.
Honestly, each step has been wonderful. As I've grown more comfortable with myself and my bisexual orientation I've enjoyed it more. The only absolute rule I have for myself is "no penetration without condoms." The last thing I want to do is bring home something extra.
To be clear, I love my wife dearly and I love having sex with her. That's never diminished a bit, and I'm genuinely happy in my marriage. I'm still more attracted to women than to men. But wow, now that I have some experience, sex with guys is much better than I'd ever expected it would be, and since it's outside of the context of a relationship I've been able to experiment and do some pretty crazy things that never would've been available to me had I not strayed. Man, I could tell you stories...
Like the other commenter said, think it through with clear eyes, but realize that your urges aren't going to just go away one day. Cheating is bad, but so is tearing yourself apart by futilely trying to repress yourself. That path leads to resentment, missed opportunities, and ironically, marital stress.
I was where you are and eventually acted on it. I’ve done everything with a man over several encounters. While I did like it, and I relive it in my fantasies, it was not what you’re making it out to be in your head. Now I live with regret of having cheated, and fear of anyone ever learning what I did. Think it through, with clear eyes.
I have same fantasy, but want wife to have mmf