Self inflicted water sports incident
This is a 100% true confession that I never thought I would tell, even anonymously. I don’t really know if it is sexual or not. I don’t even understand it myself. I would welcome some intelligent comments or thoughts. Not just “you are sick.”
I am over 60 now and these events happened about 20 years age. I had never been interested in watersports, either getting it or receiving it. I had been working from home. My wife was getting a paycheck and I was self employed. Between not having to pay for an office and not paying child care we were significantly better off financially. Once the children started school it made sense to keep that arrangement going. The worst part was not having co-workers around. A slow day could get very quiet.
For some reason I began thinking about what it would feel like to wet your pants. I am sure I must have had accidents as a kid but don’t really remember it. One warm day I just didn’t go the bathroom but drank normal amounts of fluids. In the afternoon I really had to go and decided to walk to the end of the long drive way. I stood there trying to hold it, and then let go, peeing myself and making a large dark stain all down my pants. No one saw me and I walked back indoors, washed my clothes and showered. It had not aroused me but I wasn’t grossed out by it. I was more like, okay I have done that. I never did it again nor was really tempted to.
About 3 months later I had done something that I was mad at myself about. I don’t even remember what it was so it couldn’t have been that bad. I felt the only way I could move on was to punish myself somehow. I didn’t talk to my wife about it as she is neither domme nor submissive, but in her own word vanilla. I decided that I needed to pee on myself. One morning soon after I got into the bathtub and held my cock up and let go. The pee splashed over me and some got onto my chest. I showered myself clean. I just didn’t think I had punished myself enough.
Two days later I spent the morning drinking coffee and had at least 4 bottles of water. My bladder was full and I could barely hold it. I went back to the tub, stripped, and put on some water goggles my kids had. I then lay in the tub with my butt against the far wall and walked my feet up the side of the wall until I had the small of my back on the tub and the rest of me was propped upside down. My cock was pointing down at me and I aimed it straight at my face. It took a few minutes to start to pee in this strange position, but once I started it felt like I would never stop. I had to be one of the longest and hardest pees I ever had. It went straight onto my face, but with the goggles I could keep my eyes open and watch it hit. It soaked me. I even opened my mouth and let a little shoot in but then spat it out. When I was done my hair and body was soaked. I spent a long time cleaning out the tub and showering and cleaning myself. Somehow I felt I had paid for my sin, and could move on.
I never did this again, nor wanted to. But now 20 years later I think...hmm maybe I should again. I don’t think I will, but find it so strange. Can people become twisted and then just get over it?