Son's behavior at home

I consider myself liberal minded to a point. I believe that sex is okay IF people are in love and in committed relationships, even if they are not married. I grew up in the late 80s early 90s and remember all the crazy stuff we used to do. I'm a mother in my 40s.

I have an 18 year old son who is attractive and athletic. He's dated girls for prom and things, but he has never had a steady girlfriend. Yet he's popular in school and has no problem making friends.

I came home from work early the other day and my son had a couple of girls over and they were having sex in our family room. I knew he didn't have a steady girlfriend so I was a little shocked to say the least. One of the girls was riding his penis while another was lowered on his mouth. When I showed up, they seemed as shocked by me as I was about them. I was almost shaking. I told them that I was going to leave to do some shopping and that they could finish up, but I also told my son that we were going to have a chat later.

When I came back an hour later the girls were gone and my son seemed really nervous. I asked if either of those girls were his steady girlfriend and he said no, they were just friends from school. I said I didn't like the idea of him having sex in our house, not to mention with two girls, but I appreciated that he used a condom and didn't do it in a park, a car, or somewhere else. I also said he shouldn't be having casual sex, but that I had to process that info a little more to come to an opinion. I'm still conflicted about that.

My husband almost shit when I told him about what happened, but we both agreed to try to keep an open mind. We told our son when he has people over like that to just text us, so we know he needs privacy. The thing is that I don't know if we should be providing a place for our son to get laid when the girls he is bringing over probably have parents who have no idea what their daughters are doing with our son. I don't even know if I should call them or what. People get edgy. Anyway, if there are any parents out there who have experience dealing with a situation like this and can offer advice, it would be appreciated.

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16 Comments

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  • Years ago my wife and I had to attend a funeral out of state for a few days and left the house to our 17yo daughter. It wasn't until we got back that we found out what was going on while we were away. The neighbors said there were a lot of cars in the driveway and loud music in the evenings. I looked into the trash cans before tying up the bags and there were several used condoms. My daughter and her friends were fucking boys the whole time we were away, and had sleepovers too.

    You have to draw a line: it is YOUR house, and your son, especially at 18, is a guest in it. If you don't like what is happening , or even if you feel the slight discomfort about it, tell him not to do it. You should not feel uneasy about coming home, nor should you need to have him take over the house on his terms.

  • Mom, you need to hook up with those two women. Have dad join in. So call both of them, tell them you need to discuss things. Have at it

  • Our son and daughter started playing sex games and showering together when she was 14 and he 13 so I immediately put her on the pill that was when she said can Tom and I play mum and dad now so I said yes as long as you both keep it secret, my husband thought that was a good idea and it would soon wear off because they would start getting into boyfriends and girlfriends, I am concerned because that was 7 years ago, with my sons first pay packet he brought a new double bed and they have shared the one room since, they go on holidays together and pretend married, they are both very career thinking and don't have a lot of other friends.
    Anyone been in this situation ?

  • No, but I think your kids have taken this too far, what can be done now I don't know it has gone on too long maybe a head doctor might be able to assist, your in a bad situation sorry.

  • Think yourself lucky, our son and daughter started having full on sex when he was 16 and she 15, I really didn't want to know about it but my husband convinced me to get our daughter on the pill and accept the situation because it probably would not change under any circumstances, we had a very severe discussion with the children that this was not to go outside the family or house, so we moved them into the largest second bedroom in a king size bed.
    I still don't like it but we have accepted it and everybody is happy, not sure how long this situation will continue.

  • Our son started having sex with three different girls separately from his casual job when he was 17 so we moved him into the downstairs flat and got him a new double bed, I always made them a nice breakfast and became very friendly I also enquired of each if they were on the pill, initially two were but one I had to give the morning after pill twice before she talked to her mother and started taking the pill, they were all 18 to 20 and their parents knew where they were I became a good friend to two of their mothers and still see all of them even though our son is away at college, the girls really miss him and know that he is having sex with each when he is home but they don't appear to worry so he must be a real good lover, would have got that from his father for sure.

  • I don't see why there should be an issue about recreational sex between adults who responsibly use protection and are disease free. As for the girls, they don't need their parent's involvement -- presuming they are of legal age.

    I think your son needs to hear that you know you overreacted. Concerns about the age of the girls and possible repercussions matter and should be taken seriously. If he's going to do this, you need to know that this isn't going to be an issue. Also, he should understand that you want to know before hand when he plans to entertain guests. It's your home. You need to feel comfortable there.

    These are not excessive requirements and he should agree to them and other reasonable restrictions which you may want and can state in a reasoned, respectful way. You may want to insist that everything is consensual.

    And multiple partners--that is between them. Is everyone of legal age? Is it consensual? Has he informed you when he'll be entertaining? Then it's good.

    If you're not comfortable discussing this with your son, consider printing this post for him to read. Or, you might want to discuss these things with your husband, and he can explain these matters to him.

    Be sure that your son knows he won't be censured for this. At 18, this really is his business. Let us know how it goes.

    All the best!

  • When you caught them doing it, you should have stripped naked and joined in. I'm sure you could have taught those young girls a thing or two about pleasuring a man, and I'd bet your son would have enjoyed blowing a load in his mothers hot pussy.

  • I will join you anytime

  • Don't be so rude you prick.

  • There was a story not long back how the father of minor daughter that got pregnant intended to sue the parents of the boy as they allowed him to have sex at home. Father was not happy he was going to have to pay all the bills and figured it was only fare the sons parents foot half of the expenses.

  • When my husband caught our 19 year old bringing girls home we decided to move him into a loft above our garage that had access to a small kitchen it's own toilet, wash area plus we updated to a shower and entertainment area for him, we discussed how things could become a very big problem if he or his guest's did not prepare not to become pregnant , he is very sensible and over the last 12 months the traffic to his flat is unbelievable, we put in a few outside camera's without his knowledge and have even noticed some single mothers going down, he is tall, handsome, fit and well hung he also must be a real stud, we are starting to hope he meets a nice girl soon and decides to settle with a one, I think the neighbour's know all about it and am getting a bit embarrassed

  • Please don't be embarrassed. You should be proud of him.

    If you're ever called on this, say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with his being really, really good at what he does. Add that unless they started the conversation because they're interested, say that you really don't see what business it is of theirs.

    If they haven't been with your son, they've no business judging him or all the women who want and return to him. For your part, make it clear that you refuse to apologize for him giving these women the best they've ever had.

  • Our son went to a local college so lived with us until he was 20. He would occasionally bring dates over for sleepovers. Yeah, we could hear what they were up to all over the house. I even made them breakfast in the morning. It was awkward at first, but you get used to it. Your son is operating like a machine at that age and the girls in the area know it and want a piece.

  • My son was doing the same thing so I sat him down and explained that it would be OK but only if the girls were on the pill that way their parents should know they are probably shagging, everything worked out real well because we brought him a king size, heavy duty bed and had him turn the porch light on as a sign that we would stay away while he was having his sexual moments one time we saw three girls leave before we went in, he now has a regular girl and we let her stay over whenever they want.

  • Kudos! You handled this well. Your relationship with your sun is better because you took this enlightened approach.

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