Mental anguish

The summer before last I was forced , some call it rape , some call it sexual abuse. We were camping near a popular lake with some friends. Everyone was drinking and having a good time. I remember how incredibly hot it was , that night after everyone was heading to bed , I told my husband I needed to shower. I felt disgusting and stinky from sweating all day. He offered to go with , but for whatever reason I said that I'll be fine. I went to the park showers/restroom and showered. After the shower I wrapped a towel around myself and opened the door. I was immediately grabbed and thrown against the wall. I lay on the ground and looked up to see 3 men wearing nylons over their heads. One said we just want to fuck you , we've been watching you all day. Let's us have what we want and you won't get hurt. I started crying as they began their assult on me. Crying had no effect on what they were doing or what they wanted. Over and over they took me. When it was over there was some disgusting situations that happened then they started to leave. Just before leaving one said remember we know who you are so if you say anything we'll be back. I crawled back in to the shower and cleaned up. Minutes later my husband came in and said what's taking you so long. I told him that I had fallen and hurt my head and arm. He helped me back to camp. I haven't ever told him or anyone. But everytime I have enough free time I dive to the park and use the restroom. I'm not exactly sure why I do that , but it is something that is constantly on my mind. It's like I am going there to see if they are there or something.

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  • Can I ask did you have to give them oral and did you cum when they're having sex with you

  • I don't see how answering those questions have anything to do with it.

  • Clearly you enjoyed it cos you keep going back for more, so quit crying over it. Anyone who that genuinely happened to would NEVER go back. Unless you're lying, which you probably are

  • Obviously you have no idea what you are talking about.

  • I agree, if it caused you that much trauma etc , you would not go back. I myself know what I'm talking about. Trust me. You would not go back. So I too call bullshit.

  • I understand why you and others can't believe me because I go back to the place where it happened. I too do not understand why I go there. Sometimes I just sit in my car staring at the restroom where it happened.

  • I agree with the person who said that they believe that your husband set it up

  • I have thought about that but I find it hard to believe that he would do something like that.

  • I do not think your husband was involved, but I do think it was some of the "friends" you were partying with.

    When you are there do you feel angry, or afraid, or aroused, or like you are in a dream? Use how you feel to figure out what you are seeking there.

    I think you should stop going there, and that you should talk to someone (like a counselor) instead.

  • I'm worried about having it out in the open. Especially because I have waited so long. I am also worried about what if they do know me .

  • So, you are afraid for anyone to know because you feel shame about what happened? That is normal, but you have nothing to be ashamed of.

    It is also common to wait a long time before you talk to anyone about it, for the same reasons: shame, self-blame, not wanting anyone to know.

    If they do know you, then you know them. They should be more worried than you are.

    You do not have to tell everyone, or anyone you know, but I think you do need to talk to someone about it (call a sexual assault hot line in your area, even).

    Good luck.

  • Thank you , I have dialed and hung up dozens and dozens of times. I don't think I can handle the fact that people will find out.

  • Fake story

  • Your an ass, for thinking I'm lying.

  • I think your husband actually set this up for you to get "raped" but it sounds like you actually enjoyed it secretly and this is why you keep going back

  • I don't think I liked it , I don't know why I'm drawn to go back .

  • I'm sorry but this is the hottest thing I have ever read.

  • There's honestly parts of me that almost craves it , and there's parts of me that sneaks off to a private spot to cry

  • What was the disgusting situations?

  • It's pretty gross. I lay on the floor crying or whimpering how ever you want to put it. They peed on me.

  • I understand you found it humiliating at the time, but getting pissed on is not THAT gross. Some people like it, it's called "watersports".

  • Well maybe it's some kind of a kinky fantasy for some , just not me.

  • Oh is that it?

  • DAMN! That’s just fucking awful

  • Thank you, I know , I think about every day.

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