Need advice

I’m 32 and have been married to my wife for 8 years kids jobs home normal life. Our sex life has never been great but was better when dating she never really dresses sexy or anything. I have pushed for more sex or for her to dress sexy or wear lingerie but she doesn’t seem interested. I get turned on at the though of her dressing sexy at work which she has only done once. She wore a tight skirt with heels and pantyhose that she always has to wear and i told her that night how great she looked and told her it turned me on she looked good at work I even mentioned maybe wearing sexy panties with it or thigh high stockings instead of pantyhose which she didn’t seem interested in . I don’t really know my wife’s history before we met with guys I do know she dated or talked to a guy I know from the small town we are from. I’m not sure what all they did but I know from sources that he has a huge dick I’m talking 8 or 9” and thick af I’ve honestly thought if she fucked him and it turns me on so much but considering how she tends to be a prude I have never told her how I felt ab that or been able to even ask her about it..... just kinda lost as what to do since she isn’t open to hardly just having sex as to how I be open with her ab how I feel

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