Understanding The whole Cuckold Phenomenon
I have to admit that I am absolutely fascinated by this topic. There are so many postings here and elsewhere describing in detail these experiences. There seem to be several levels of participation, from the excitement of watching the wife flirt or be touched by other men all the way through to having the wife perform various sex acts with multiple men while the husband watches and masturbates, or is restrained to prevent intervention.
There was an article that I read, which details the psychology behind this practice. It certainly helped me to understand the culture with a little more clarity.
THE TYPICAL CUCKOLD
The vast majority of cuckolds are men in their 30s and up, and living comfortable lifestyles. They are usually married or have remained in long-term relationships. They are usually alpha males with above-average intelligence, hold high-power executive positions in their work and earn above-average incomes. Due to all of this, they need more mental stimulation than the average man.
The men are almost always the ones to instigate a cuckold lifestyle.
THE REAL PLEASURES BEHIND CUCKOLDRY
Paradoxically, the central figure that cuckoldry serves is the "victimized", "humiliated" man. He is the one who experiences the most pleasure in this dynamic.
A man with a cuckold fetish derives his pleasure from the mental anguish and humiliation that results from his wife's infidelity. (I use the words "infidelity" and "cheating" within the context of a consensual arrangement). He is immensely aroused by the thought of his woman with another man, lusted by other men. He wants to see his partner satisfied, and by doing so he now has a 'private porn collection' by which he uses to masturbate and fantasize. This is more rewarding than actual sex with his partner.
By being the cuckold, he willingly assumes the position of the sexual submissive. He is submissive to his wife, and he is now lowered in rank in respect to the other man having sex with his wife. He and his partner often 'complete' this fantasy by having sex right after she cheats on him.
Being a cuckold is to experience a form of psychological masochism. It is a cerebral pursuit whereby the man feels a kaleidoscope of feelings such as jealousy, misery, gratitude, shame, sublimation, inadequacy, and lust. It is a mental version of sensation play in which the emotions themselves are the sources of pleasure, bringing out some of our most intense reptilian instincts. A highly intelligent individual wants to experience this 'psychological high' for two reasons: to feel alive, and to feel diminished from the loss of control. In the book Masochism and the Self, author Roy Baumeister explains:
"Cuckolding is a form of escapism. Cucks are relieving themselves of the stress and burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less expansive role."
Small penis humiliation is a point of focus for the victim. The other man is often more well-endowed, more handsome, and referred to as a "Bull". The physical superiority of the other man adds to the humiliation of the husband.
Lastly, cuckoldry gives some men the chance to vicariously explore their repressed bisexual urges. While it is arousing to watch their wife with someone else, for some it is just as exciting to watch a naked man have sex, period. The wife who understands her husband's bisexual curiosities would sometimes command him to service the Bull during foreplay.
EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND THE CUCKOLD FETISH
Psychologists have attributed the cuckold fetish to theories rooted in evolutionary biology. With all these submissives from all parts of the world sharing the same fetish, it is not absurd to think cuckoldry triggers something inherent in our nature as human beings.
Cuckoldry induces sexual competition among men. In the book Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles, author Robin Baker argues that a man is incentivized by biological urges to copulate with his partner in an effort to "compete" with the other man's sperm. From an evolutionary perspective, the mere idea of one's wife cheating and straying is a risk to his genetic success, and it is a male's duty to make sure that his own sperm makes it to the egg. Get away from that womb, it's MINE for the impregnating!
When we first meet our partners-to-be, the very fact that they were initially unattainable -- and thus taming them would be a glorious challenge -- is what attracted us to them in the first place. They are a prize to be won, and this desire fuels our pursuits. As a relationship grows and settles into a comfortable routine involving dinner and Netflix, the strong desire we felt at the beginning naturally subsides. We stop being the hunter. The exciting world of cuckoldry 're-activates' our hunter mentality, causing us to want our partners again with all the intensified feelings about risk and possible denial. This is further enhanced with the knowledge that although our partners have sexually strayed from us, we can still bathe in the comfort that they will always come home us. Cuckoldry allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
Hopefully, by now you will have gained a better understanding of your own cuckold fantasies with a little more acceptance and proactive curiosity. The benefits of exploring cuckoldry are rich with emotions and sexual gratification when honest and open communication takes place.