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Understanding The whole Cuckold Phenomenon
I have to admit that I am absolutely fascinated by this topic. There are so many postings here and elsewhere describing in detail these experiences. There seem to be several levels of participation, from the excitement of watching the wife flirt or be touched by other men all the way through to having the wife perform various sex acts with multiple men while the husband watches and masturbates, or is restrained to prevent intervention.
There was an article that I read, which details the psychology behind this practice. It certainly helped me to understand the culture with a little more clarity.
THE TYPICAL CUCKOLD
The vast majority of cuckolds are men in their 30s and up, and living comfortable lifestyles. They are usually married or have remained in long-term relationships. They are usually alpha males with above-average intelligence, hold high-power executive positions in their work and earn above-average incomes. Due to all of this, they need more mental stimulation than the average man.
The men are almost always the ones to instigate a cuckold lifestyle.
THE REAL PLEASURES BEHIND CUCKOLDRY
Paradoxically, the central figure that cuckoldry serves is the "victimized", "humiliated" man. He is the one who experiences the most pleasure in this dynamic.
A man with a cuckold fetish derives his pleasure from the mental anguish and humiliation that results from his wife's infidelity. (I use the words "infidelity" and "cheating" within the context of a consensual arrangement). He is immensely aroused by the thought of his woman with another man, lusted by other men. He wants to see his partner satisfied, and by doing so he now has a 'private porn collection' by which he uses to masturbate and fantasize. This is more rewarding than actual sex with his partner.
By being the cuckold, he willingly assumes the position of the sexual submissive. He is submissive to his wife, and he is now lowered in rank in respect to the other man having sex with his wife. He and his partner often 'complete' this fantasy by having sex right after she cheats on him.
Being a cuckold is to experience a form of psychological masochism. It is a cerebral pursuit whereby the man feels a kaleidoscope of feelings such as jealousy, misery, gratitude, shame, sublimation, inadequacy, and lust. It is a mental version of sensation play in which the emotions themselves are the sources of pleasure, bringing out some of our most intense reptilian instincts. A highly intelligent individual wants to experience this 'psychological high' for two reasons: to feel alive, and to feel diminished from the loss of control. In the book Masochism and the Self, author Roy Baumeister explains:
"Cuckolding is a form of escapism. Cucks are relieving themselves of the stress and burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less expansive role."
Small penis humiliation is a point of focus for the victim. The other man is often more well-endowed, more handsome, and referred to as a "Bull". The physical superiority of the other man adds to the humiliation of the husband.
Lastly, cuckoldry gives some men the chance to vicariously explore their repressed bisexual urges. While it is arousing to watch their wife with someone else, for some it is just as exciting to watch a naked man have sex, period. The wife who understands her husband's bisexual curiosities would sometimes command him to service the Bull during foreplay.
EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND THE CUCKOLD FETISH
Psychologists have attributed the cuckold fetish to theories rooted in evolutionary biology. With all these submissives from all parts of the world sharing the same fetish, it is not absurd to think cuckoldry triggers something inherent in our nature as human beings.
Cuckoldry induces sexual competition among men. In the book Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles, author Robin Baker argues that a man is incentivized by biological urges to copulate with his partner in an effort to "compete" with the other man's sperm. From an evolutionary perspective, the mere idea of one's wife cheating and straying is a risk to his genetic success, and it is a male's duty to make sure that his own sperm makes it to the egg. Get away from that womb, it's MINE for the impregnating!
When we first meet our partners-to-be, the very fact that they were initially unattainable -- and thus taming them would be a glorious challenge -- is what attracted us to them in the first place. They are a prize to be won, and this desire fuels our pursuits. As a relationship grows and settles into a comfortable routine involving dinner and Netflix, the strong desire we felt at the beginning naturally subsides. We stop being the hunter. The exciting world of cuckoldry 're-activates' our hunter mentality, causing us to want our partners again with all the intensified feelings about risk and possible denial. This is further enhanced with the knowledge that although our partners have sexually strayed from us, we can still bathe in the comfort that they will always come home us. Cuckoldry allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
Hopefully, by now you will have gained a better understanding of your own cuckold fantasies with a little more acceptance and proactive curiosity. The benefits of exploring cuckoldry are rich with emotions and sexual gratification when honest and open communication takes place.
I have no desired to watch my wife "in action". I stay at home waiting for her return. The anticipation and the thoughts of her giving herself to a lover arouse me like nothing else. I am often caged in a chastity device and that just adds to the anticipation of when she returns. Weill she give me the details? Will she unlock me? Will she let me have sex too? I love the fact it is led by her and she is in control.
I think I might fall into this category. I often have dreams about this. I know my wife would never go for it. What is interesting is I used to have panic attacks when I thought about her sex life before me and still do sometimes. Now, I think about her giving a handjob, stripping, or even giving a BJ to another man and it’s exciting. Not sure what to do with those thoughts. She is not very sexually driven anymore. We are in our 50’s and I feel like we still have some sex life in us. Would love to see her flirt with a younger guy just to see how it makes me feel.
Just be honest with her and IF she wants it too then great. Do not force her in to anything.
My wife's 1st marriage ended because of her infidelity. I overheard a lot of slut jokes about hear long before we were married. I played dumb and asked her about her friends comments, and she was totally upfront about it.
I found her stories to be erotic and a total turn on. I had no idea she was such a bad girl.
As soon as our relationship started to get really serious, talking about marriage, she ended it. Turns out she wasn't sure that she could remain faithful for the rest of her life. She dated a quite a few guys during our breakup and she shared a lot of stories about her current sex life. Once she knew that I was not hung up on her ability to remain monogamous, we started to see each other more frequently.
Although she has never told me so, and I have never really asked for confirmation. I am certain that I am not the only one that has been having sex with my wife. There are times when we are intimate I am convinced that I am getting sloppy seconds. She acts different, It tastes different, it smells different and it feels different. Those are the days where I don't last very long and I'm sure that she knows that I know too.
My fiancée and I both live in a small town she grew up in. She was wild when she was younger and had a lot of boyfriends. I love it when she tells me about the sex she had with them. Her last boyfriend before me had a big cock. She's introduced me to some of them as just her, "friends". They don't know that I know they 've all fucked her.
How would you explain my fantasy? My fantasy is to watch someone I absolutely hate take my fiancée’s virginity. I want him to permanently deny my chance of ever being her first. I want him to have the dick that enters my fiancée for the first time. It turns me on imagining the first time she has sex being with him.
My present boyfriend seems to get aroused when I tell him things I did in the past, (he asks for details)., Maybe this is the same thing?
I love it when my wife tells me about her prior sexual experiences. It's a wonderful turn-on.
I was in high school when I was at my friends house he was changing I noticed his cocktail was huge. I guess they call it cock envy lol but I also wondered how my current girlfriend would feel during sex compared to mine. I actually talked to my friend about it and hinted to letting him fuck my girlfriend to ask her. It never happened but it never left my mind and before long we broke up and I was graduated and married. The thought came back to me and I would watch porn guys sharing wives with huge cocks. One night during sex I told my wife to imagine my cock was over 9" long and twice as thick. She go into sex and we had one of our best fucks up to that point. After I told her about my desire and she was willing to appease my desires. She admitted she always wondered what a big one felt like and I called me friend. My wife is very petite and beautiful long dark brown hair her tits aren't very big 34 B cups her ass is her best asset narrow and plump. So my friend was very will to give my wife a ride on his cock. He fucked her hard in every position possible it was a 3day fuck fest. Taking turns on her she was very stretched out and joked as I would slip inside how small he had made me feel compared. She admitted she know understood what a vaginal orgasm was during sex. He gave her as many as he fucked her every time she said the girth was her favorite part. After she asked if we could do a three way again I smiled kissing her saying of course. I asked why she wanted to just wanting to hear her say it. She giggled and said you know why he's way bigger and fucks me better. Her honesty turned me on and admitting to me exactly why turned me on. I guess this qualify as a cuckold I have no idea why I've never felt jealous.
You're one lucky husband. Your wife lets you watch her fuck other men and loves cuckolding you. I would marry her and keep your mouth closed no matter what she does. Your job is to clean her pussy when she's finished with him and do as your told. She should be able to fuck whoever she wants whenever she wants and you should praise her for fucking other men and allowing you to be her cuckold. It's a privelege to have a woman who will openly fuck other men and loves cuckolding you.
Really good, interesting study, thanks for posting
Wow, this was a good read. It took some time, but at some point I started asking my wife to wear tops a bit more revealing, maybe this is a first stage. My wife has always been outgoing and we both enjoyed the outdoor's. We spent most of our free time together doing thing's we enjoyed.
It took a bit of time for her to believe I would like her to do this without getting upset, or jealous, Once she started doing this, it got me to a new type and level of excitement.
It also took some time for her to admit that she too was enjoying the added attention. Our sex life had improved and we started finding new place's to go and have fun.
After some time, it had gotten to the point that we started talking about her somehow pleasing another man. It took the right time and place, and a glass or two of wine also, but that day came and she gave her first blow job.
That was a big deal for us, for me to see her do this, to watch her action's, and for her to find that it could be done with both of us enjoying what she had just done.
Enjoy the privilege of being a cuckold my friend. You should be proud of her for getting all the dick she desires and if your lucky giving you the privilege of eating her well fucked pussy and if allowed sloppy seconds for her satisfaction. It's always about keeping her happy no matter what she does.
Love this article, need my wife to read and accept it.
This describes me perfectly, I found it very interesting, Thanks for posting
Glad you realize your role as a cuckold and knowing that a woman should be able to fuck whoever they want whenever they want. A complete waste of time not to give into her needs no matter what she wants to do. I love eating a well fucked pussy and know it's a privelege to have such a lovely wife who will let you watch her fuck other men and if your lucky will let you clean her pussy when she's finished with him fucking her. I love being a cuckold!!!! I wouldn't have it any other way.