My confession will definitely gross a lot of people out, and that's ok. I'm just looking to put this out there, not support or validation.
I'm a woman, 37 years old, 6 months pregnant. My husband walked out on me early into my pregnancy (he's from abroad, he just packed his things and disappeared, so I'm guessing he went back to his country). As you might guess, I was in a very vulnerable spot when he left, but I'm very blessed to have many people in my life that were willing to help me out. And so along came this man...
We've known each other since we were very young, but we weren't really very close, we grew up in opposite sides of the city and he is almost 7 years younger. Still, he jumped right in to help when he heard what happened, and he is just so good to me, and we started to get to know each other so much better. we started getting closer... way closer, in an inappropriate way. At first I thought it was just me and my hormones making me attracted to him, but I later found out it was a mutual feeling, which wasn't supposed to happen, It was wrong (and not only because I'm technically still married and pregnant with another man's baby, but I'll get to that).
But we got to a point in which we kept spending time together and it was just getting harder to not act on what we were feeling... so last week, after a friday night out dancing, he took me home and invited me to his place the next day for dinner. You kinda know what's gonna go down by that point... still, I accepted.
So after dinner, and talking and listening to some music, I went to the bathroom. When I came back I sneaked up on him and kissed him. I wanted to kickstart things before either of us started thinking of the implications... and it worked. We spent the whole night making love.
And no man had ever made love to me like that before. So passionately, so present, so caringly but at the same time with such lust. I've never felt so desired by a man before. It was simultaneously very loving and magical, but also very dirty and exciting. I had multiple orgasms, more powerful than I've ever had, and I even allowed him to cum inside me. It was a delicious feeling, only matched by the sensation of losing my anal virginity to him. I also enjoyed it to the point of orgasm as well.
Why was this so wrong? Because this man is my estranged younger brother.
Our parents split up when he was still a toddler, and we were separated too, so I hardly ever saw him growing up. Our parents couldn't even stand each other. So I moved on when I became a teenager, and I cared very little for him then. I only saw him every other Christmas, maybe a few birthdays. I always knew he was a kind boy, but he wasn't a big presence in my life, so I didn't become too worried about him as life went on (kinda makes me guilty that he immediately came back into my life to help me).
We're both aware that what we did is very wrong, and we talked about it. But he did make a confession from his heart that tempts me. He said that "from the moment I could lust I fell for you, and I could have never dreamed of a situation in which I could make love to you, my sister. But here we are, and if there's a woman I'd like to wake up beside to, and make love to every morning, it's you, no matter what other people say or do. You don't have to say yes or no to anything, but if you decide we should never talk about this ever again after tomorrow, I'll also understand."
It's been a week, and after he took me home the next morning, we haven't talked to or seen each other. Not because I don't want to keep this going, or because I want to forget. I want the exact opposite... so how can something that is so wrong, feel so right and so good?