Just a few months ago I was I guess you would say a normal wife. I wrote here about what I felt at the time to be a mistake , I went to a friend's house got in her hot tub with a few of her male friends and ended up having sex with them. Since then I have really been struggling holding on to my former self , I tried not cheating, I tried not letting my voyeur friend to corrupt me any more. That frame of mind is now completely gone , I crave exciting and sometimes dirty sex. My friend is one of those type of people that truly enjoys watching others have sex and or being in sexual sistuations . Too me she has been my misiah,my guiding light. To all the women that may read this yes I am cheating on my husband and I can understand why you may think that is a horrible thing , but lying to yourself or holding yourself back sexually is in my opinion a much greater crime. Please experience like I have the wonderful feeling of sex with men that truly want you not for a life but just for a few hours. Thanks for reading my opinion . Stephanie.