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Submissive Deviant
I'm a bit of a sexual deviant. I've ruined my ability to connect sexually with another person because I watch so many different types of pornography, but it usually has a common theme: Submission. The only times I fantasize about being with a woman, she's dominating me, making me lick her feet, pissing on me, sitting on my face and farting into my mouth, pegging me with a strap on, twisting my nipples, or making me watch in the corner while she screams in pleasure from another man having his way with her.
...Usually a black man, with a fat, juicy member. I get incredibly aroused at the thought of watching a massive cock penetrate my female partner while she laughs at my thin, short penis.
Most of the time though, my fantasies are pretty homosexual. Usually the first thought I have when I wake up to my morning erection is spreading my legs for a fat cock, letting a bigger man make a girl out of me while my shriveled member bounces up and down, then taking his penis in my mouth right afterwards.
I don't want to become a girl, I just want to get fucked like one.
I take it you have only fantasized about this so far. You should probably take it slow and see how you like it in real life; it can be very different.
Perhaps start by seeing a pro dominatrix, asking her to give you a makeover and dress you like a slutty girl. She can give you a prostate massage, use a strap on in your ass, etc. She will humiliate you, within the limits you discuss with her.
See how you feel about all of that. Sometimes a dom can arrange for you to move forward to sex with real cocks. some doms don't provide any kind of human sexual contact though. You can find out by talking to her ahead of time.
If the real life experience is what you really like, you can take steps to make it a reality, in a safer way. There are dangers to running out on your own, not knowing what you are doing.