Guys - How many of you can...?

I have only had one orgasm that I do not know how it happened. I woke up when I was about sixteen and had a puddle of cum on my sheet so I either humped the bed in my sleep or do not remember jerking off but neither one of my hands had cum on them.

That's easy..... ZERO.
Whomever says they can is FULLA SHIT!

I can get hard without touching, but can't cum without direct stimulation; unless you're talking about pre-cum?

I can get hard from thought alone and I've come close to orgasm but the only time I've ever really had an orgasm without touch is when I've had a wet dream and wake up to an explosive orgasm.

I'd need you to tell me something hot enough to make that happen

Yes in my younger days and I have made a woman orgasm without touching her.