Ex..

And, now, at least you know that at least one guy isn't intimidated by toys and plays with them as much as his girl does!

What the fuck are you talking about?

Walmart sells these inexpensive locking file boxes (look at the locks, some have locks that can be open with a bobby pin whilst others have real locks) and that and a few athletic socks and you have something that is private. That being said, don't put toys away dirty, there are plenty of instant cleaners designed for toys. Keeping your toys clean will keep you healthy. Since you now have a locking toy box, a hitachi magic wand will help you explore your orgasms with the same inevitability as a freight train about to hit you and, even though it may take all your birthday money, it will be TOTALLY worth it. Moreover, if your next boyfriend is enlightened, you can put it against your clit in a variety of positions or he can hold it there during intercourse and if you don't have to be pealed from the ceiling, I will stop breathing for a week lol! Just remember, communication is key, you may have gone through all of this and learned lots about yourself but it doesn't hurt to know about male sexuality (and we are a mental mess, we all wish for a telephone pole and to last hours (in my experience, 15 minutes is a miraculous event and after 10, you will be kicking him to get him out and you will be sore for a day or so) even when the women in our lives tell us that they are satisfied and sore) and to remember that he feels just as vulnerable, shy, embarrassed, and maybe even a little afraid. That being said, if you make it clear that you want him (or her?) and tell them when you need your hair pulled or your butt spanked and when you need to be handled with kid gloves, you might find you want more sex after all.

ps. some guys are intimidated by toys so talk about it beforehand and REMEMBER THIS: NO ONE gets to put anything in anywhere until you have had at least one good orgasm. Doesn't need to be generated by tongue action but why tell him (again, or her?) that :-)

Incidentally, men do not go into a "mood" when they don't get what they want. If anything, being REJECTED made him feel very bad about himself and he certainly was not expecting that. Instead of either rejecting him or doing something that you don't want, find a happy medium, google outercourse among other possibilities. A long bath together can also be filled with intimacy without necessarily including intercourse. Love is too precious to neither give or accept. You might not be ready today but then again, you might just need to understand yourself better and find someone who can give you what you need. It may be as simple as the right kiss or --as is the case for some women and some men-- as complex as a spanking; however, believe me, there is someone out there just waiting for you.

From your statements I surmise that you are younger than 30 or so. There is time to read and learn a few things as well as to go out on a few "just for fun" dates --be sure to communicate clearly that you are not in it for sex (at least not yet but don't say THAT lol!) and that this is just two people keeping each other company and nothing more. You don't say if you are religious or not but I would say that even if you are, try a date or two with another girl as well. Though it may seem crazy right now, that may well be why you weren't in all that much of a hurry to see how hot you --really-- made him. Which brings me to that last statement you made: his suggestion that everyone would want to have sex with you suggests that you are an attractive woman, embrace it and enjoy it, there are many that lack something or other that you have and it hurts them to not have it and it hurts them not to be desire with the fervor you've been.

In reality, saying that either one of you is to blame is not really realistic as he was very patient in terms of waiting for you (and unless you were in high school, a year is a VERY long time) and you went to bed without wanting to. That being said, although there are asexual people as well as those with limited sex drives, it is my belief that such people are more rare than they themselves want to believe. I had an ex that occasionally thought of herself as asexual because she did not feel the desire to initiate sexual activity; however, five or six bouts of intercourse in one day was not out of her realm of possibilities and she was not shy about her pleasure. My point was not to brag but to point out that there are many reasons for which one might not feel the desire for sex and only some of those involve either low sex drive or asexuality; sometimes, someone else has to start. Communication is absolutely essential and being shy about asking for what you want, need, desire, and gag for but can't say or think, only gets you boring and unsatisfying sex. The feeling of vulnerability that comes from both the physical and emotional exposure is both natural and not all that easy to experience. It magnifies anxieties and produces new ones very easily; however, it is this very vulnerability that makes for the best sex because when you are with someone whom you can trust and who knows your every flaw, physical and otherwise, and loves you anyway, the orgasm that will follow will knock your socks off!

Waiting three months to have sex is truly unimaginable to me. Statistically, the most frequent series of events is that two individuals have a first date for lunch, a second date that usually involves a movie and some more intimate contact which may range from a deep and passionate goodnight kiss to mutual masturbation though generally, passionate kissing with rather intimate touching is the norm. The third date usually involves a more elaborate courtship event; generally, something more intimate and romantic than dinner and a movie. By the end of the third date, over 75% of couples have had intercourse and over 90% have had some form of intimate contact involving total nudity as well as genital contact. Arguably, waiting longer is possible under certain circumstances such as religious conviction; however, waiting such a long time as a year is not a common occurrence even amongst the deeply religious who usually wed within this timeframe.
That being said: communication is very important and even more so is knowing what you like, what you need, and what you want but can't accept that you want. That is to say, the things that you find cause you to blush when you think about them or cause you to feel guilty because "normal people don't do that!" or "how can I want to do that!" or "only sluts and tramps do THAT!" knowing yourself is the first and perhaps the most important step to finding sexual pleasure and satisfaction. No one can make the first few times they have sex with someone a memorable one because of how good it was and those that say otherwise are lying to themselves. Sure, the newness or naughtiness can fill in for a bit but to really get it means that you accept responsibility for your own pleasure while accepting responsibility for HELPING the other person achieve whatever pleasure they desire.

It's difficult because I don't know what I'm doing I don't know what I like but he just seemed to know what he liked and didn't really seem bothered about anything else but I was too embarressed/shy to say anything

The sad fact is that he probably was experiencing the same thing. It is unlikely that he knew what he liked even though he presented an aura of confidence --most women will probably not go to bed with a man that didn't seem all that self assured; self doubt, it would seem, is not an aphrodisiac. You CAN know what you like by --among other things-- reading erotic stories or watching some porn (keeping in mind that less than 10% of the men out there are as endowed; ~85-90% are between 5 and 7 inches) or trying something out on yourself with some toys. DO NOT rely on the opinions of family and friends! Why? because between the shyness and the fear, almost no one will answer with any honesty and say "Yeah! I do that and I love it!" Amazon will deliver all sorts of toys to your door in complete privacy and all sorts of household goods can easily become sex toys. For instance, ping pong paddles make great spanking implements and wooden clothespins can take the place of nipple clamps... Use your imagination! There are only two caveats: first, nothing without a base EVER goes in your butt (don't knock it, plenty of women AND men enjoy it just be patient with yourself) things without a base will land you in the emergency room at least. Two, do things slowly; it is not the same thing to slowly close a nipple clamp than it is to let a plastic clothespin snap on one and then pull it off --and yes, people do that and get off on it. (more)

I am glad to see that you are reading my comments and I hope you find them helpful. I did not write the one that starts "that guy..." but I will answer the question you are asking. (more)

That guy is stupid, sorry if its rude, but he is, sex is a comfortable and uncomfortable situation, for now, you probably arent ready, but you will be later on

I obviously don't know what I like but I can't know what I like if I don't do things? I'm guessing haha still very new and I know I'm not ready now like I'm sure of it all now