I don’t know how to tell my gf

I’m in my 20s dating my 19yo gf, Kayla. She is gorgeous and we get along great. Sex is great. Everything is great since we started dating a few months ago. I have this secret that I’ve been trying to find the way to tell her. The night she was raped, she thinks a saved her. I did, but also had some fun with her too. How to I tell my gf that I assaulted her too. I’m ashamed and it’s hard to even look at her sometimes. Let me step back.

I had a party about a year ago. My roommates and I threw one pretty often. I noticed Kayla right away. Nice round tits, gorgeous smile and her little ass barely showing from the bottom of her skirt. When people were leaving and pretty drunk, Kayla was very drunk, flirting with this guy. I seen him pull her into a friends room, she wasn’t fighting it but everyone was drunk. I seen his friend go in the room with them. I didn’t think about it right away but it seemed off. I went by the room to listen. It sounded like some hot sex at first. I listened for another second. I heard “no, not there, ahhhhh fuck no” then them say yes, yes. I opened the door. Kayla was on top of one, the other behind her. Both dicks in her. Kayla looked like she had no idea but didn’t want it. I barely had to even yell before they got up and left. They told me they were just having fun. Kayla could barely speak, let alone stand up. I helped find her panties and put them over her bald pussy. Her holes looked tiny, even after sex. I put her shirt over her perfect tits. She was one of the hottest girls I’ve seen naked. Her nipples were perky and pierced. I asked if she wanted to stay, I basically had to carry her to my room. I found her a more comfortable shirt, I wanted to feel her tits so bad but I left her in bed while I checked out the rest of the party. The roommates were taking care of the rest. I went to go cuddle with Kayla.

She was barely coherent at best. When I got into bed, she put her knee on me, I could feel the heat from her pussy on my leg. I got hard. Her shirt was smooshed together and one brush away and I had her nipple out. I teased it. I had to stop. She rolled over and my boner went down. Her skirt was up. Her soft ass was against my belly. I pulled down my boxers to feel her warm skin on my dick. I was there for a while going between trying not to be hard and then rubbing it on her. When it fell between her legs, the heat was strong on my cock. I had to look. Just a little touching, I told myself. Her lips were so beautiful, her asshole was adorable. I tasted her off my fingers, so delicious. She got on her back. I moved her panties and played with her pussy. Spread it, looked at it, fingered it. I actually was going hard and she didn’t wake up. She turned back over and I told myself I would cum on her ass. I felt bad enough as it was. I jerked off, her pussy still out from her panties. One more finger and taste. I got close, felt her hot pussy on my tip and slid it in. No problem at all. Being drunk was the only reason I didn’t cum an hour before. I was so glad I was in that sweet pussy. I was looking at her asshole and my cock sliding in her pussy and decided to go for it. I don’t see how someone can sleep through that. I went as slow as I could but I got too excited and sped up. Her hole had a tight grip and I didn’t notice she was waking up. She didn’t look at me, but she did say, ow that was her ass. I said she told me she didn’t want to get pregnant. She got quiet then moaned that it hurt. I asked if I should cum. She said I had a fat dick, I went deep to cum, squeezing her tits. She said she hoped she was good, I said the best. She fell back asleep before I took it out. I rubbed the cum over her holes while I fell asleep.

I was really nervous in the morning. Kayla didn’t remember much. Only that the two boys had sex with her. She didn’t want to claim rape and seemed fine about it. She thanked me for saving her and kissed me goodbye. She was sad about it and called me for weeks going over memories that she had. She thanked me for being a new best friend to her and came over for sex. We started dating right after. Recently, she’s let me fuck her ass. She looked back and said that my big dick hurt her. I came right away remembering my secret. It’s been in my mind and I don’t want to tell her.

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