My sex life with my ex

We were so wild. So much drugs and drinking and so much sex. I love cock so much! Me and my ex did the craziest shit together. He loved watching me fuck other guys. He loved sharing me. I loved it too. This is just a guess but I've either sucked or fucked 30 guys while we were together. It's been two years since we broke up and I have a new boyfriend that I can't even mention these things to. I haven't ever been with a boyfriend that I didn't cheat on, except for my last ex, and it's probably because I didn't need to in our situation!
So I've been missing those crazy times but I also told myself it's going to be different this time and I don't need all that. I almost think I don't.
Is going out to a bar with my partner so we can find a guy to fuck me just something in my past? Is trying to stuff two cocks in my mouth at the same time just a memory? Is ending up at our house with one of his friends after a night of partying something I leave behind?
I've been tempted to text him to see if he could arrange a 3 way, me him and one of his friends.
I thought maybe if I confessed on here it would help alleviate some built up pressure. But I feel like it just made me crave it more.

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