My first time was with much older man

Had been developing a crush with an older neighbour. He was much older than my own parents but not so old he was at least in eyes not elderly.
I’ve had lots of small talk whenever I passed by his house which was just around the corner from mine. There was something about his sweetness and chivalry I found so attractive.
I recall being 13 in my earliest memories of discovering my sexuality - humping away on the family couch with his image playing in my head like a short porno.
My feelings exasperated by the time I was 15. I offered to help with chores (yard work mostly). He would always call me “darling” or “sweetheart” which I loved. I confided in him because I felt like I wasnt being judged much like adults tend to do - the whole “you’re too young” dismissive attitude.
I melted everytime he held my hand. Looking back, none of what he did was remotely flirtatious or sexual but I probably interpreted it that way being a horny little teenager.
We often talked about relationships. He often tried to give me good advice about boys and men. I recall him looking me in eye, asked me if any boy hurt me, that I should tell someone like my parents. I felt cared for, like a best friend I’ve known all my life.
I guess he eventually realised I had sexual feelings for him when I asked about sex. He gave me the birds and bees talk and asked me that I if I eventually went through with, that I promised him it was on my own terms.
I slept on thought for a while but couldnt stay away. He was like my best friend. I confessed I wanted and needed to do this. He didnt tell me off but held my hand and kissed me on my forehead.
Reactively, I kissed him on his lips. He didnt push away. Feeling his tongue in my mouth felt so sexual and I never felt like I needed sex more up until this point.
He asked me “are you sure”. I nodded with excitement. He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. Helped me undress before undressing himself. Kissing me, laid me down and climbed over me. Before I knew it, my legs were wide open and I was officially not a virgin. It honeslty felt like fireworks. I vividly remember it felt like I could feel every inch of him as he penetrated me.
I didnt notice it in the moment but I was moaning like dog in heat was trapped in a 15 year old girl’s body. I didnt want it to stop.
He got up and finished in a towel then apologised because it wasnt “something a lady should see”. That made me giggle.
We cuddled for a bit and he asked constantly if I was okay. I couldnt stop smiling and confessed I felt so happy. He helped me get dressed and walked me home.
I got myself on the pill as soon as I could. It went on until I had my first boyfriend when I was 17. He was still my best friend so I confided in everything, even the sex. I never told my boyfriend that I had done it before, not because I wanted to appear a virgin but I couldnt think of any way to tell someone I did it with some 50ish years older.
We drifted apart sometime after university (college).
I never regretted having that relationship with him. Everything about it felt so right. I found out from my parents he passed away a year ago which has made me think of him again.

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