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Open Relationship/Marriage Arrangement?
Married woman, currently 42yo and I'm curious how other couples worked out having an open relationship and what the rules are/were that you established with each other?
My husband and I married when I was 25 and he was 27 and we had both always had high sex drives and had open relationships in the past so we agreed to have an open marriage as well but we came up with rules together that we both agreed to honor.
1. Birth control was a must (including his partners).
2. We were both completely open and transparent about what we were doing and with who.
3. Family members were off limits (he'd always wanted to fuck my sister but she and I hate each other's guts so I was not having that).
4. Verifying any partner's STI status was a must.
5. My husband was the only man I let go raw and unload in my pussy and vice versa no raw sex or unloading in his other partners.
6. If sex ever became infrequent between the two of us but not other partners then we needed to take a step back from our other partners and reevaluate our relationship.
7. If one of us started to develop feelings for an outside partner we needed to let one another know and decide together if that partner needed to be cut loose.
8. No drugs.
9. No getting totally wasted unless we were together and one of us stayed sober if we were out (mainly for safety reasons).
10. We always came home to each other no matter what and there was no staying overnight with an outside partner.
11. We also both needed to get to know and be able to contact each other's outside partners incase it was necessary.
My husband and I followed these rules religiously to protect our marriage and each other's feelings. If something about a potential partner of the other made us uncomfortable we discussed that privately before things moved forward. For the most part we each developed a group of trusted partners that fulfilled our needs and fantasies. We had an open marriage into our 30s but when we decided we wanted to have kids we decided we wanted our kids to be fully ours so we closed our marriage to outside partners for an undefined amount of time. We had three kids together and decided that was all we wanted. All three ended up being girls and I decided I didn't want them exposed to the type of open sexuality with other people that we had before. He agreed that he didn't want them exposed to that either. Our marriage has remained closed to outside partners which has led to frustration for us both at times but we always worked it out together and our marriage has still been very happy.
Perhaps when our girls are grown and have moved out we will return to our open relationship status but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I'd love to hear how other people worked out similar arrangements.
I cheated on my husband to get revenge, because I thought that he cheated on me, however he didn't. What it did was cause us to begin introspection of our marriage. Felt ashamed that my husband forgave me so easily while just the thought of him being unfaithful angered me. I didn’t understand how he could be turned on by me being with other men. In my therapy the counselor explained that it was a fantasy for a lot of men, that other males looking at or desiring at their wife was a validation that they had the best mate. So we have been married for 39 years now, in the hot-wife lifestyle for 35. I don’t a lot of notches on my belt but have had a few very exemplary lovers.
After my husband got over the first time I cheated on him he told me that he wanted me to be open with him about my affairs and he didn't want to be with other women just me. He was fine with me having sex with other men as long as I didn't do it behind his back. I have had a lot of one night stands and stady boyfriend's over the years and I can honestly say that my husband never slept with another woman and he never gets upset when I go out on a date with another man or when I bring someone home to have sex with. He definitely surprised me how good he is about our marriage and my affairs.
My relationship with my husband would never have survived an open relationship when we were younger. We were too uptight. 26 years of marriage later (we are in our 50s now) it's less of a big deal. It's just cock and pussy. I've had trysts with guys I know from my past and from work, and my husband has banged girls with his guy friends when he goes over. It's not a regular thing with us at all, and we don't seek it out, but if the opportunity presents itself there is nothing wrong with having some fun. Life is meant to be lived, and we both know that getting laid for fun doesn't have to mean "love." Do it while you can.
My husband and I have known each other since we were little kids. He's two years older then me We lived next door to each other. We grew up together as best friends. Our parents were best friends, so we were always together.
My husband was born with a birth defect called aphallia. It were a male is born with testicles but no penis. He has a urethra hole and that's it.
He started having gay relationships with other boys in the neighborhood at the age of 14. But then again so did I at the age of 13. But we still remained best friend, even sharing a guy now and them. Will I ended up pregnant at the age of 16. Our parents arranged it so that when I turned 17 we could be married. We were both okay with it. I knew he was gay, he knew I was gonna have sex with other men. I never used birth control. We have six beautiful children because of it. I had my tubes tied after the sixth child.
We never really tried to to hide our sexual lifestyle from our children. But we did openly Flint it in front of them either.