Misabound opportunity or using better judgement

Nearly three years ago I went to go visit my 2nd female cousin, because I wanted to see her mom (my great aunt and maternal Grandma's sister) one last possible time since she had dementia and I suppose I visited to have no regrets of that. But the only regret I do have is that went my cousin took me back to her house to lodge for 2 nights, there was no sex initiated on both ends. The first night there she invited a couple of friends, one male the other female and at first went sightseeing until dusk and met the other man back at my cousins house in which we carpooled to a restaurant. So long story short, after delicious Italian dinner with several glasses of wine everyone partook. The 2 friends were dropped off at my cousins house where they departed and it was just my cousin and I alone, and tipsy. You see, I had imagined myself fucking my female cousin long before the visit, but for some reason my stupid moral conscience kicked in. I mean she payed for everything, my plane trip ( she gets discounts because she's an airline employee), and deep down I had really wanted to make some sort of move, but I was concerned that if I did, I might either be having to find another way back home by being banished from there and that she would tell my mother and entire family. The next morning I got up, took a shower and went go greet her, and she was NOT in a good mood. She said the formality with her and guests was to 'pow-wow' and plan out the day and then go get ready. I was a bit confused because nothing was mentioned of that. But even after the trip until now I have such regret that we didn't get naked and have amazing sex, which I really wanted to lick her pussy and tell her how amazing she is. There's about a 16 year difference between us as she's older than me but I don't care, older women turn me on tremendously. Well, I would still entertain or hope for a 'ghost of a chance' I might get an opportunity with her one day to fulfill my fantasy. I'm open to anyone's suggestions, seriously to make this a reality. Thank you in advance.

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