Not Fair

I know it is just not fair, but I cannot prevent how I feel. I continually accept my husband’s gift, but I am too selfish to return the favor. My husband allows me to have sexual relations with other men. I shouldn’t say allows, he actually encourages me and will actively participate as much as possible. He buys me clothing to wear on my dates and he buys me gifts for letting him watch. He has tried to explain. But I cannot even grasp why a husband would tolerate his wife being with another man, let alone encourage it. His behavior is so out of normal that he will even get grumpy if I go for more than a few months without an adventure that I can share with him.

The funny thing is that since we started participating in this marital arrangement, I find myself getting extremely jealous whenever he gets even the most innocent attention from another woman. For example, last Friday, my husband, the man I am seeing now (Keith) and I arranged to meet after work at a restaurant near where I work. My husband got delayed with a project at his work. Keith and I had dinner together alone. The possibility of having sex with me without my husband present, something that had not happened yet, excited Keith immensely and he could not keep his hands off of me as we dined. I had to tell the waitress that Keith was my husband. I had Keith get in my car and we found a private place to park. We had intercourse in the passenger seat of my car and then met my husband at a pub that I had live entertainment. Keith and I played the couple and sat arm in arm while my husband played the part of my brother. The thing was that there was a bachelorette party going on and they picked up that my husband was third in our group and asked him to participate as the stag in one of their games.

Although I had just finished having sex with Keith and was still planning on taking him home for a second encounter, I found myself extremely jealous of the attention my husband was getting. It wasn’t like he was going to get anything like the action I was getting. It was so bad that it affected my performance with Keith back home. So much so that I could not even reach orgasm. I was still angry in the morning, and it wasn’t until later when I saw how bad I made him feel that I started to feel guilty for being so selfish. This is not the first time that something like this happened. Because of me, my husband doesn’t have a single female friend.

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