My Deep Dark Secret Fantasy Notebook

I'm an '18' year old white heterosexual male who has a secret notebook I keep locked up and hidden in my chest in my bedroom. There's actually two, both 500 pages, but the first one is all filled up. The newer one is filled about 400 pages because I write in it every night, just like I did the first one.

The newest notebook is dedicated to my secret fantasy and fetish. I am absolutely obsessed with the idea of blackmail. The idea of someone having something over someone that gives them total control over that person is extremely appealing to me. I can imagine what it must be like to be in that position and having no choice but to do whatever it is they are told to do, the sense of despair and helplessness and vulnerability is so dark and vile, it makes me nauseous but I like that feeling. My latest notebook is filled with short stories based on my blackmail fetish, taken to what I consider the extreme.

My fantasy is to be totally dominated and controlled by another male who makes me his sex slave. I have posted this on several kink sites and know that not many get it, but it has nothing to do with sexual orientation and everything to do with blackmail. I made friends with a few, the ones who aren't just Friday night role-playing, and who get it, but most try to tell me I'm really just using it as an excuse to do what I really want to do. They're the ones who don't understand that its about the blackmail.

My new notebook is filled about 400 pages, both sides with half written stories about my fantasy. I never finish any of them past 3/4s of the page because I like to rub my stiff penis on my mattress, with a t-shirt under me, while I write and always bust a nut before I finish. I never go back because I always think of something new or take something out because it doesn't really work for one reason or another.

I guess its meta, but my stories all start with someone getting a hold of my notebook and using it to blackmail me to be his sex slave and I have to do the things I have written. I even wrote my name and address and phone number on the inside cover of it, to make it feel like a real possibility.

I've experimented with the idea, first by leaving pages torn from my notebook where my classmates could find them. I watched as they got passed around, causing a big stir, living the idea that they had power over me even if they didn't know it.

I would love for someone to get their hands on my notebook and take total control over me. I will do just about anything except blood or scat, especially if its something I don't want to do. I really like the idea of having give someone my notebook instead of them finding it because they have something else to blackmail me into handing it over. In my fantasy I am forced to shave myself smooth and wear a collar with a leash and be whipped and spanked for disobedience. I think it would be hot of I had to get nipple rings and even a Prince Albert because it scares me to think about but more importantly because I have no choice

My problem is finding the right person to give my notebook to. I don't know how to go about giving someone power over me with blackmail without risking losing it or being exposed.

I wish someone would blackmail me into being his sex slave.

By Anonymous Sep 11

Fetish CONFESSION

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