I've been with my FWB for 8 years

I have commitment issues. I've talked with friends, mentors, counselors and a psychologist. Everyone tells me it all began when I lost my fiancé.
I'll explain a little.
Jim and I were best friends growing up. We lived in a small rural town in low income families. We dated in high school, he was my first and we got engaged. I got a few scholarships and was able to go to college. He joined the military and we planned to get married as soon as we could. After bootcamp, he got sent to TX for training and the helicopter crashed. That was the end of my world. I was depressed for years. With help from friends and family I finished my final two years of college with an accounting degree.
I moved to the city, got an apartment and a job with a firm. I was going to work, gym for two hours and home. My friends and new co-workers were trying to get me out dating again. I went out as friends with a group of people but I quickly went back into my shell.
It had been four years since I lost Jim. I had made friends with Dean (42), an older guy in my department. He's married with three kids. His oldest was in college and the others in high school. We had to travel to Atlanta for training. After the first night, we were having dinner together in the hotel restaurant and our conversation got flirty. He always had a way of making me feel attractive and was telling me I needed to move on and get back into the dating world. On this night, I don't know how it happened but the conversation went to sex. He asked when was my last date. I told him I had not dated anyone since Jim passed. He asked about sex. I told him Jim was the last person I'd been with. He joked and said it's not healthy for a young attractive women to go that long. I agreed. We ended up back in my room having sex. We agreed to become friends with benefits once we came home.
This is the reason I'm posting this story. It's been 8 years and Dean and I still hook up a few times a month. btw; He's also the only man I've had sex with.
I've went on a few dates with guys my age. Heck, I've had in a few relationships that lasted a few months but we never had sex.
My best friend and psychologist tell me it's not healthy to have a fwb that long. It's not healthy to be in a non sexual relationship but still have a fwb.
I know I'm messed up but this works for me. I don't want a relationship just sex on occasion. Dean turned 50 this year. He's happily married and I'd never do anything to ruin that for him. I've met his wife at company holiday parties and picnics. She's beautiful and kind. He's lucky.
I've also kept him in the conversation and he agrees we are just friends with benefits.

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