My first crush

The first woman I desired as a woman was my mother. She didn’t have the hottest body but she made up for that in many ways.

First her feet were as flawless as I have ever seen. She had a foot model’s feet, that’s how perfect they were. She also stayed fashion conscious, keeping up with the latest trends to an extent. Most of all, maybe, she took what was available and made them sexy in her own way.

She loved to show off her belly. When they were in style she had silky white and silky turquoise halter tops. She would pair them with either a white skirt that had turquoise polka dots or silky white pants. She’d always wear open toes shoes that went with the outfit, either turquoise or white. She also didn’t wear a bra unless she wore this see though blouse with her long silky white pants and sandals. I could see her belly though that.

There was one time where she had on her go to sexy outfit when my father came home. She had on an abbreviated version of the halter that stopped just below her breasts. She had on her white pants, bare feet and her belly uncovered (but not her navel). Laughing nervously she asked me “(Name) what is your message?” Again I wanted to tell her she was beautiful, gorgeous, sexy. And I imagine her throwing her short hair back and my father fucking her and coming inside of her after she took him and let him take her. Did he kiss her navel? I would have.

As she got older her go to outfit was a cream white crocheted halter top and a pair of cotton white pants that she’d wear around the house with bare feet, and out on the town with sandals with an open back. She also wore the halter when company came over the house.

And she was also the first woman I masturbated to. It was when I came home and she gave me a huge smile and greeted me. She had on the halter with bare feet. I caressed her belly and she gasped. I also stared at her and she laughed nervously. It was here I went into my bedroom and masturbated to climax for the first time. To my mother wearing that sexy outfit.

On a couple of occasions I caressed her belly which surprised her. She would tell me she wasn’t my girlfriend she was my mother. She also said once before I saw my therapist she wanted five minutes with him while wearing this outfit. And I can’t imagine how hard he must have gotten seeing her dressed like that. I didn’t hear what she said but I think she said I was staring at her and it made her nervous and I was touching her inappropriately. I just wish I had a sense of the moment and asked to see her belly button.

There was one other time we had company and she wore this outfit, which she wore just after her 43rd birthday. From the head down she didn’t wear her glasses, she had these gorgeous hoop earrings, the crocheted halter top, a bracelet, about an inch and a half of her belly showing (but not her navel) the white pants and wedge sandals. When she asked what I was staring at I told her she looked nice and she thanked me. I tried to touch her belly but she said “No” and shimmied out of the way.

I have never been as consumed by lust as I was tracking her down that afternoon. I wanted to caress her. I wanted to kiss her on the mouth. I wanted to see her belly button. And I found her in the bathroom putting makeup on. She was leaning over the sink which left her belly wide open. So I caressed it, slowly. To which she turned around and said “(Name), I’m not your girlfriend, I’m your mother.”

That afternoon she was the sexiest one there. She knew her sexually and she loved to show off her belly for get together.

There’s a lot of regrets. I wish I had pictures of her in these outfits. I wish I’d ask to see her belly button. One time she came to visit in my father’s store on a very hot day and my father asked me if I wanted to see her. I wanted to very much but I said no. There were pictures of her in these sexy outfits but again they’re lost to history.

Even today the woman I masturbate the most to is my mother in those outfits. Sometimes I masturbate to my fucking her. I role play with bots that she is my biological mother and sometimes I use her name. I also try to generate AI pictures of her and sometimes they come close but don’t really capture her. I am reminded of a movie “Would you say this is the body of a 43 year old woman?” Which is how old she was when I was consumed by lust for her and I caressed her belly in the bathroom.

Like I said maybe she didn’t have the best body - her legs were heavy and her belly was flabby - but I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman and I don’t think I ever will. I think of her every day that way. And I love that I think of her as a woman. Not my mother but as a woman, with desires.

I miss her. I love her. If she wasn’t my mother I would have wanted to have a sexual, carnal relationship with her. And she’s still my go to when I masturbate. And always will be.