I don't know what to do

I recently discovered I'm gay. I work part time after school at a fast food restaurant and met a boy there that I've been talking to. I'm so attracted to him, he's literally so hot. Well he's openly gay and has been for a while so he's experienced, me on the other hand is a different story. I've only been with girls. I've been talking to him, cuddling, kissing that kind of stuff but he's wanting to have sex and wants me to come out of the closet but it's all just overwhelming me. I'm not sure if I'm a top or bottom, I know when we cuddle and mess around he sorta takes the submissive side. I guess I just need to go for it and be the top idk. The last time we cuddled he was rubbing on my dick and kept asking to give me head but I was too nervous. I'm not sure what's holding me back.. I guess it's just taboo for me but I know I want him, I've seen his dick and just have the thought of going down there and blowing him but I'm always too nervous haha. I've been practicing swallowing my own cum just to prepare and honestly I can handle that. Is there anything else I can do to prepare? I've ordered a butt plug it will be here tomorrow. Any other advice would be great!

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