Obsessed with anal sex

I am a 32 year old mum of two and recently discovered anal sex.

My husband and I separated last year for about 6 months and I briefly saw a guy I met in the gym. He had a great body but no personality so it didn’t last long. We had sex only once. It started with the usual blowjob and then I sat back on the bed and started playing with myself whilst I looked at him. He was very fit but I wasn’t really sure even then that I wanted to go all the way.

My plan was to get him to masturbate whilst I did the same. If he came early as a result I would be happy with that but otherwise I was going to wank him off over my tits.

He was quite aroused and started telling me how hot I looked and I was playing up to that by moaning and grabbing my nipples and getting my legs as wide as I could. My fingers were in and out of my pussy and mouth and I even made him go down on me for a while. As he licked and sucked my clit and buried his tongue into my pussy I could see his left hand rubbing his cock faster and faster.

Suddenly he stood up in front of me and I thought “here it comes”. Not having seen him cum before I didn’t know how much there would be and I was not going to get it on my face so I turned around onto my hands and knees and said “cum on my ass”

He shuffled forward and started rubbing his cock up and down my pussy. To be honest I was very turned on by now so if he had thrust into me I wouldn’t have minded.

He eventually did thrust into me but my ass not my pussy. I yelled and fell forward onto the bed but he followed with his cock still inside me. I yelled at him to stop but he leant forward to keep me where I was and put a hand over my mouth to silence me. He kept thrusting into me and eventually somehow the pain started to subside and got mixed with the pleasure and I felt things I had never felt before. He totally dominated me and I managed to pull his hand away from my mouth and actually found myself encouraging him. I remember telling him to cum in my ass and to fuck my ass harder. I even reached down between my legs to scratch my fingernails across his balls as they slapped against my pussy. He grunted and his cock jerked inside me. I lay there on the bed with cum coming out of my ass whilst I gently brought myself to orgasm. He sat and watched.

I stopped seeing him shortly afterwards. He wasn’t very interesting and I had a real hangup with the fact that practically raped me. I didn’t hate him for it as we were both in the heat of the moment but I certainly didn’t like the fact he thought that little of me.

A short while later I got back with my husband and of course didn’t tell him I had seen anyone else, let alone that I had lost my anal virginity. The problem however is that our normal sex life just doesn’t turn me on. I enjoy it and can orgasm if he fucks me from behind but to be honest I am usually imagining the other guy with his hand over my mouth and his cock deep in my ass spraying my insides with his cum.