If/when my spouse…

I’ve been with my wife for over 10 years. We go through periods where we fight a lot and periods where we are extremely connected mentally. We have an average sex life at best. We will have periods where we will have sex a couple times a week and periods (more often than not) where we won’t have sex for 2 weeks at a time. No oral for years now. It has nothing to do with technique or ability. She just doesn’t want to do it and doesn’t want it to be done to her.

I have also been bi-curious for the longest time. 7 years ago I was presented with the opportunity to be with a man on an extended basis. I stumbled on a free (truly free) hookup site for just men. It sorts based on proximity and it said that I had a friend less than 100 ft away. I knew it was one of my next door neighbors. One is married. It could definitely be a possibility that he was bisexual as that’s exactly what I was doing. A married man on a gay hookup site. The other neighbor I had never met. Just your average guy. Nice guy. Kept to himself.

I sent him a message. After a few exchanges I mentioned how close his proximity was to me and asked if he was visiting someone or lived that close. He said he lived that close. Described himself and I knew it was the guy that I hadn’t officially met. I worked 2nd shift and would stay up till like 2-3 am. After a short conversation, he invited me over. It was midnight at the time. I walked next door wearing just the house clothes I had on. He met me at the door and immediately kissed me when I walked in. It startled me at first but I let go and kissed him back.

While we kissed, he reached down and started to play with my cock through my house shorts. I quickly got hard. I reciprocated and played with his cock. In my head, I was incredibly nervous. He broke off the kiss and invited me into his bedroom. I got naked and he sucked me off. I came and once I cum, sex is over. I lose interest immediately. He understood this. I assume it’s a common thing with bi-curious or married men.

This would repeat a few more times. Started off being once a week. I’d msg him when I was on my way home from work and he would respond. I’d meet him at his house before I would get home. He’d suck me off and I’d bolt for the door. Then I progressed to wanting to suck him too. I didn’t make him cum the first time because we would 69. Then around week 3 or 4, I wanted him to cum. He didn’t tell me when he was about to cum and I’m glad he didn’t because I would have told him to pull out of my mouth. He just let it go and moaned out loud. I had no choice but to swallow his load. Again, glad he did it this way because now I love swallowing cum.

So I was still nervous, but each time I’d go over I became more comfortable. Then one day, I was there and we had both cum. We were laying together naked on the bed. I was laying flat on my back and he had his head on my chest. I looked up and said, “I probably better go. Wife will wonder where I am.” I had stayed like a half hour past when we were done. He followed me to the door and on my way out I said, “So the wife has to go out of town this weekend.” He said, “Oh yeah?” I said, “Yeah, you doing anything this weekend?” He said, “Nope. Just work and home same as you.” I said, “Wanna just hang out together?” He said, “All weekend?” I said, “Yeah, unless you aren’t ok with that.” He said, “No. I’m cool. Absolutely. Kinda cool how far you’ve come in a few months.” I said, “How is that?” He said, “From a blow and go to wanting to spend the weekend together.”

So that weekend, I stayed with him. That was the first time we had actual sex. Up until them it was strictly oral. He’s versatile leaning towards being a bottom. I had been a bottom for a couple other guys in the past but nothing that had been more than once or twice. The first night, we did our usual but this time we went to sleep together and we were both naked. We woke up and I was spooning him. My morning wood was poking into his ass. I woke up and the head of my cock was in his asshole. I assume he was awake already because when I woke up and realized I was inside him (just the head) he said, “Morning. Someone ready for round 2?” I said, “Yeah sorry about that.” He said, “Don’t be sorry. A welcome surprise.”

We had some morning fun, showered together and then went about our days. Skip to day three of the wife being gone. We both walked to the cars to go to work. We kissed right there at the driveway. It didn’t even dawn on me that we were kissing in public. He said, “Bye baby. Have a good day at work.” I said, “See you later. Love you.” He said, “I love you too.” On my way to work it dawned on me that I told him i loved him. We never said it again. We continued to have sex once or twice a week for 6 years. We would have continued but I moved across town. I got a different job that had a different schedule and we just couldn’t get the timing to get together.

Now, saying all that to say this. If something ever happened to my wife be it divorce or her untimely death I wouldn’t be with another woman. I don’t wish for either one. As a person and partner, I love her dearly. Sexually, I want more than she’s willing to give. If anything ever happened between us, I’d be gay in a heart beat. Have a boyfriend move in. I feel like it would be a much better fit. Being with a guy that has just as high a sex drive as I do. Similar interests. I’m clearly sexually attracted to men. It would be like having a best buddy that enjoy having sex with one another.

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