Married guy who enjoys being penetrated
I'm happily married and an active member of my community. Since I was a teenager I have enjoyed masturbating anally with different objects. It's something that I have always kept private. After ten years of marriage, I went stray with a coworker, who confessed me her idea to be with another woman, so I took the opportunity to tell her that I wanted to be with a man. She encouraged me, so I rented an escort and had a great time.
Since then I have been doing it in average twice a year. I have always been passive, and most of the times I try to get dressed up as a woman.
I'm sure that I'm not gay, I have never felt attracted to any man, is just the idea to be a woman and be in control what turns me on.
Lately, I started going to arcades, where I can suck random guys. I always swallow and that makes me feel proud, the fact that they enjoy and give me some reward. Many times they wanted to fuck me, which I allowed without hesitating (with a condom every time).
I think I'm not hurting anyone, as I have never had a relationship with any of these guys, but the desire to feel that sometimes overwhelms me.
Absolutely nobody suspects this addition.
Am I wrong on being like this?