Dynamics of relationship have changed now that wife knows I dress

Ok well I am a crossdresser and my partner is fully aware it has changed the dynamics of the relationship we used to have, I would have said before being caught that I would have gone mad to know she might be talking to other men, but we now have a female led relationship where she has encouraged me to talk to men online and flirt with guys who like my kind, but this has also allowed her to live a more open life and she chats to many men online and in real time, to be honest I don't quite no how I have soften to all of this as I used to be quite jealous but her needs and desire's is all that is important to me, she now buys me pretty clothes or gets her men to buy me pretty lingerie to wear when they go out as it keeps me from getting cross, I feel ashamed and struggle to understand why them buying me lingerie excites me and allows me to let this carry on, I am so confused and sometimes think it would be better if I wasn't here anymore! x

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